Motivational Speaker Kevin Hogan

Motivational Speaker's Greatest Resource?

2011-07-23T10:23:00.000-07:00

The Motivational Speaker's Greatest Resource?

Half of the Motivational Speaker's audience is women and women control the emotional tone of each and every audience.

Understanding what women love and respond to makes for not only a great motivational speaker but gives you a greater understanding of life in general.

When I speak I keep track of how various stories I tell impact my audience...particularly women.

Women matter 5 times as much as men in determining...well everything when it comes to my business.

So just what do women love about MEN?

Women Love Men Who Give Them...

Ask any woman what traits she wants in a man and within the top 3
will be...a sense of humor.

The other top 2 will probably be some form of intelligence and
ability to support her in the style to which she would like to be
accustomed.

And humor, it now appears, is one way to judge the other two.

Because when humor is done well, it takes smarts and social prowess.

In his article in Psychology Today, "Laughing All the Way to the
Bedroom",(May 2011) Gil Greenhouse, psychologist and anthropologist,
says:

"The ability to say something funny requires a high level of
intelligence. If you memorize a thousand jokes, that doesn't make you
a person with a sense of humor. Sense of humor is more subtle. A good
sense of humor is about timing, the ability to say the funny thing at
the right time and to the right people. Telling a sexist joke in a
room full of women will probably not score many points with the
audience. Humor is largely an interpersonal activity that requires a
high level of emotional, social and also mating intelligence."

He's right (and you should follow Greenhouse as he is cutting edge in the field).

He goes on to say that humor is valued highly by women, and is
listed as one of the top 3 qualities by women in online dating ads.

He also quotes another study done by Eric Bressler, Sigal Balshine
and Rod Martin in which they found that women want a man that will
make them laugh.

Men of course start trying to impress in grade school.

Then the path looks to be ...dominance.

The way of the bully.

Fortunately, shortly after grade school, the second way to social
status emerges.

Prestige.

Writing on this subject on Huff post,(May 2011) Scott Barry
Kaufman,(Cognitive scientist, personality psychologist and professor,
NYU...another guy you need to follow!) :

"The dominant path is paved with conceit and arrogance, whereas the
prestigious path is paved with accomplishment, skill and prosocial
behaviors."

Hmmm.

And Science Daily reports: ScienceDaily (Dec. 23, 2008) - A new study
in the journal Personal Relationships reveals that women prefer mates
who are recognized by their peers for their skills, abilities, and
achievements, while not preferring men who use coercive tactics to
subordinate their rivals....

Women most likely avoid dominant men as
long-term romantic partners because a dominant man may also be
domineering in the household.

Back to Scott Kaufman.....he points out that humans use humor
effectively to pursue and conquer sexually.

"Studies by Gil Greengross, Geoffrey Miller, me (Kaufman) and others have
indeed shown the benefits of humor for intersexual selection -- funny
people do report having more sex and more sexual partners, and they
report starting to have sex earlier in life".

I don't think he's joking...if you will...

Which do you think came first, the sex or the laughter?

Kaufman further bolstesr his idea that there is evidence that humor
is related to sexual selection and is a positive social trait with
this study..

Men's sense of humor on women's response to courtship solicitations:
an experimental field study Nicolas Guéguen Université de Bretagne Sud

Summary? - Producing humor might function as a fitness indicator
associated with greater desirability during dating selection.

An experiment was carried out in which a male confederate in a bar was
instructed to tell (or not) funny jokes to two other male
confederates. A few minutes later, when the second two male
confederates left, the first male confederate asked a female who was
near his table and who had heard the funny jokes for her phone
number. The previous expression of humor was associated with greater
compliance to the male confederate's request and with a higher
positive evaluation. The possible effects of humor are discussed from
an evolutionary perspective.

The official version of this article is available at:
http://www.amsciepub.com/doi/pdf/10.2466/07.17.PR0.107.4.145-156
Cited as: Guéguen, N.

The result was that the man got the womans phone number more
frequently when she thought he was funny AND when she thought his
friends thought he was funny.

Both humor and social proof at work here.

He has prestige and he is funny.

Humor is PART of prestige.

It's part of intelligence.

And its very attractive to women.

If you want a woman to fall in love with you, you'd better know how to make them laugh. One other reference for understanding women better would be Covert Hypnosis 2020. A good read.

Motivational Speaker and Leadership Researcher

2011-07-01T13:44:00.000-07:00

Top 5 Mistakes Leaders Make in the Workplace

by Kevin Hogan

1) Not giving enough feedback.

Constructive...not destructive criticism that intends to improve your team's performance will make your team go further. Regular evaluations of your team's strengths and weaknesses will keep them on top of their game-and you on top of yours. Make yourself available and approachable. Make sure your team knows your expectations. Listen to them.

2) Lack of adaptability.

The world, including your business, is constantly changing. Humans are made to adapt to new situations and ideas. Be open to new things and new ideas. Nothing is set in stone. Be flexible. Encourage new ideas, innovation, effort, collaboration as a TEAM.

3) Setting goals that are out of reach.

When goals are practically impossible to reach, people experience high levels of stress, lose motivation and performance declines. If your employees are afraid of making a mistake-this is a red flag! Fear is crippling. When we are afraid to make a mistake or fail, we usually will. We essentially shut down. It's okay to take a risk. Your team will make mistakes-but dwelling on them is a barrier to moving past and learning from that mistake.Be empathetic to your team's limits. When moderately challenging goals are set, people experience an amount of stress (good stress) that allows them to operate efficiently (otherwise known as 'flow') and competently.

4) Lack of self awareness.

Are people intimidated by you? Is your ego overinflated? Do you truly respect your employees? Do you have any bad habits in the workplace? Are you aware of your own body language? Not only should you dish out feedback to your employees, but ask for feedback about your performance as well as ways you can improve. Self-monitor your actions and how people react to you on a daily basis. Excellent leaders are always looking for ways to better themselves as leaders and team members. They are in touch with their strengths and weaknesses, thus being able to manage them. Admitting you may not be right in every situation and addressing your mistakes are crucial steps to effective leadership. Facilitating a better environment for everyone to work in will ultimately generate more output.

5) Workaholism

If you are consistently running on empty, feeling fatigued, and overall just plain burnt out- you need to take a step back. Breathe. It's time to reevaluate your work habits. You will not be an effective leader if you are finding yourself sleeping in your office and stashing spare sets of clothes at work. Great leaders find a sense of balance and sensible integration between work and their personal lives. If you are taking time for yourself and giving your body regular breaks from stress you will find yourself happier in the workplace and more output at your fingertips.

Covert Hypnosis and Motivational Speaking

2011-06-24T10:51:00.000-07:00

For the truly excellent motivational speaker, Covert Hypnosis 2020 is an exciting new resource to make you even better. Worth checking out.

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling (Part 3)

2008-07-29T13:04:00.001-07:00

KEYPOINT: In reality, you and I buy very few things for rational reasons. Instead, we buy things (especially those "spur of the moment" impulse items!) because of emotions...because of feelings.

Now, since people purchase a LOT of products based on emotions, what can you do to trigger those emotions?

Secrets of Tapping into Emotions

There are two secrets to touching the way we feel about things that work the majority of the time (I'll touch on both of these more later and in-depth in Las Vegas, but let me introduce them now)...

$10,000 KEY: Present problems and offer solutions. Early on in your offer or your presentation is a great place to do this. Outline a problem that your buyer or your target audience is probably facing and then point out how your product provides the solution...

Online:

One of the biggest obstacles facing most people doing business online is generating traffic to their websites.

Let me show you how to really get quality people who are interested in YOU and your WORK, product, service, experience, to YOUR website...

I like contrasting my work with others who write about, create products, and courses that are about similar topics to what I'm doing, but there is a significant difference. There's no need to replicate information. So I produce where others are deficient. but have no depth or value (or worse, it's actually destructive to their clients, customers or buyers).

That's a huge competitive advantage...USP...if you will.

Face it. Someone goes to a seminar for $5000 and gets nothing but a sales pitch or a bunch of sales pitches.

It doesn't take rocket science to know people are still angry... to know that they wanted value, and didn't get it. And that's where an opportunity is created for me to create happy and loyal lifetime relationships.

I mean think of the last time you went to a seminar that was really a sales pitch for a bunch of other stuff.

What emotions are triggered here? Anger? Absolutely! Most likely the reader is angry because she herself has been taken and disillusioned by the event, and the like.

The KEY is that there is a problem that they face, (the reason they went to the first event) there is the possibility of a solution for them to take a "chance" on Kevin Hogan.

Emotion has already been triggered and will continue to be fed throughout the remainder of our hypothetical presentation.

(I can feel the emotions of this scenario right now!)

You want to point out what happened with the other event. Let it sting.

Then let the reader/prospect/customer/future client see the existing problems that caused them to want to go to THAT event in the first place, then offer solutions where possible.

Don't exaggerate, lie or hype. Offer realistic, reachable solutions that will come to fruition in the near future.

We all have problems and we all want them eliminated. And, we don't mind paying for those solutions -- if they are real solutions.

KEYPOINT: Be the CLEAR ALTERNATIVE. If you can't be passionate about being the clear alternative....

* Present luxuries and offer opportunities. The flipside to that coin is to present something that triggers our passion and offer us a chance to obtain it. For example, here's one that would get a lot of people now...

"Wouldn't you like to improve your golf game so dramatically that you'll have your buddies scrambling to keep up with you?"
"Let me show you how to take at least 10 strokes off your total by the end of the week. You'll drive the ball farther, hit amazingly accurate chip shots and putt like a pro. Here's how..."

Aaaah. Show me where to sign up!

What emotions are triggered here? Excitement! Joy! Passion! Pride!

KEYPOINT: There is a certain "attraction" between our psyches and an opportunity to fulfill something we are passionate about.

The idea for you is to capitalize on an EXISTING emotional want.

For example, If you get targeted traffic to your website, or the right people in your store, then it is EASY present your work to your visitors because of their existing desires.

They already want something, all you have to do is be credible enough to persuade them that they can have it.

One reason we buy is because the offer or opportunity triggers some feeling inside of us that prompts us to go for it.

Your job is to let them pull the trigger.

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling (part 2)

2008-07-15T13:42:00.001-07:00

1. The Principle of EMOTION

One of the reasons people make purchases is because of emotion.

Emotions like...

* FEAR:

Fear of gaining weight.
Fear of missing an opportunity.
Fear of unemployment.
Fear of death.
Fear of a future price increase.
Fear of what others think about them.
Fear of the unknown.
Fear of growing old.
Fear of being alone.
Fear of being cheated.

There are hundreds of different PHOBIAS that DRIVE people to make purchases.

People buy life insurance because they fear dying prematurely and leaving their family financially strapped.

We buy exercise equipment because we fear gaining weight or getting out of shape.

We buy alarm systems because we fear we are going to be violated in some way.

KEY POINT: We make a lot of purchases because of our fears, on things that are supposed to ease our fears.

* PASSION:

Passion for food.
Passion for money.
Passion for our children.
Passion for our partner.
Passion for our career.
Passion for success.
Passion for fame.

You and I have those things in our lives that we are passionate about. Whether it is a relationship or a recreation, a possession or a position, we all have those things that we long for.

We all have those things that we "love." And we spend a lot of money in pursuit of those things.

I began reading voraciously as a kid. And everywhere I went, people told me more and more of the different kinds of books I could purchase. I bought thousands of books.

Why?

Because my passion for reading triggered an emotional response... I wanted to KNOW as much as a human could...and I was as good as sold long before walking into Barnes and Noble.

(To this day I have and have read everything possible about Biblical Archaeology, Religious Literature, The Historic Jesus, Decision Making, Illusion of Consciousness, Consumer Behavior, Evolutionary Psychology, Strategic and Critical Thinking, Motivation, Rejection, Relationship Research, well...and a few other ...dozen areas of interest....)

You and I make a lot of purchases based upon passion or love.

Things that make us happy, that bring us joy...that increase our pleasure. People buy food in many cases not because they are hungry, but because they love eating.

People buy self-help books not because we need to improve our reading skills, but because we long to improve our lives. People buy roses because they love their spouses.

Passion - it fuels a LOT of buying decisions.

I touched on fear and passion because those are the two biggest emotional buttons that cause people to make purchases.

There are plenty of others:

Sorrow, reverence, hate, sadness, surprise, anger, joy, excitement.

We make purchases for all of these reasons.

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling Presentations

2008-06-17T12:55:00.000-07:00

What's one of the most important things to know before giving a Persuasive Selling Presentation?

Understanding what motivates people to buy and then pushing all the right buttons.

Simple.

Before I launch into creating and presenting your own offer, whether in person, on the web, or in media, we need to do some research to make sure your offer is accepted.

Now, when I say "research," I'm sure visions of high school term papers come to mind - late nights in the library pouring through book after book.

Don't worry, I wouldn't put ya through that!

I've already done the research for you. All you need to do is LEARN from what I have researched and am sharing with you today.

Core Reasons People Buy

I want to show you core reasons that people buy.

Are there other reasons?

A few, and they are profound and I'll talk to you about them in Las Vegas.

But for now, what if I told you that I am going to outline the things that motivate people to make purchases, and I'm going to show YOU how to have control over each of these core factors, AND I am going to give you the training you need to master these motivators to practically cause people to buy from YOU.

Interested?

Ready?

What motivates people to buy?

As mentioned earlier, this isn't an all-inclusive set.

These are the major causes of why people buy.

There are seven.

To Be Continued...

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Overcoming Hostitlity

2008-06-16T10:04:00.000-07:00

Criticism: Attacking someone’s personality or character, usually with blame, instead of attacking a specific behavior.

Hostility: To be antagonistic toward someone. Pertaining to an enemy.

Contempt: Disapproval tinged with disgust. Communication that is intended to insult. To show disdain for another who is considered vile or worthless.

Contempt and hostility are fueled by thoughts of the other person’s incompetence or disgust. They are disgusting. You think they are stupid. How do you show this?

Labeling

“You’re a jerk.”
“You’re a b_tch.”
“You’re a b_stard.”
“You’re an idiot.”
“You’re a fool.”
“You’re stupid.”
“You are incompetent.”

Nonverbally

Roll your eyes when they say something.
Sigh heavily while they are communicating something to you.
Turn your back on them while they are talking.
Walk away from them while they are talking.

Covert Insults and Humiliations Designed to Cause Real Pain In Others

“Even Andy could get that one right.”
“If you really loved me, you’d lift a finger to help around the house.”
“You don’t even care about your kids.”
“You were never there when we really needed you.”
“Any kindergartener could figure that out you moron.”
“You have serious psychological problems.”

Contempt Breeds Contempt

It’s true that contempt breeds contempt. Remember the last time you were involved in one of these?

“What the hell are you doing?”
“You told me to clean my room!”
“I told you to get the living room cleaned up because we have company coming, THEN to clean your room.”
“What’s the difference Mom, no one is coming for TWO hours?”
“That’s it. You have no respect. You are grounded.”
He looks at her in disbelief. Sits on his bed. Stares at her.
“What are you looking at?”
“Nothing. You’re crazy.”
“You will not speak to your Mother that way. You are grounded for one month! Now get this place clean. NOW!”

What happened here?

The son was cleaning his room. He probably should have been cleaning the living room first to prepare for company but he probably didn’t know why he should be cleaning the living room first.

Deep inside, the son felt put out that he had to clean his room and the living room. He didn’t mess up the living room after all. His toddling sister did. He doesn’t even go near the living room.

Deep inside, Mom felt like she was in a pressure cooker. Company coming in two hours and she has four hours of work to do. And this isn’t just any company this is hubby’s new client. A big one. The house has to be perfect. Tonight the pressure is on to make a really positive impression.

This is an example of how most people communicate all day long. Here is the next morning at work…

“Why aren’t you working on the Johnson account?”
“You told me to get the numbers for the Friedman account and the Johnson account updated today.”
“I told you that Johnson is going to be here in TWO hours. Get her account done THEN do the Friedman account. Does any of this make sense to you?”
“Both sets of numbers will be on your desk in the next hour.”
“I want the Johnson numbers NOW.”
“Fine.” (She drops the Friedman file. Grabs the Johnson file and returns to her desk.) “Is there anything else?”
“No. Just get that file to me ASAP.”

Deep inside, the office worker is feeling hurt and angry. She doesn’t feel trusted. She doesn’t feel as if her boss understands her competency level. She is angry that her boss felt it necessary to make a scene over NOTHING in front of the staff. The boss once again made her look bad for no reason. The file would have been done with no problem…and no time delay.

Deep inside, the boss felt that once again people just don’t get it. The top priority item gets second billing. What if there was an emergency or a problem and there wasn’t time to get the Johnson file done? Why don’t people do things in the order that make sense? This woman is as stupid as her son…except he’s 12 and has an excuse. Why does she keep this worker on? Probably because MOST of the time she does a good job, but THIS is just ridiculous.

The office worker goes home. She thinks all the way home that her boss is such a bitch. “She really thinks I’m an idiot,” she mutters over the steering wheel. I hate her. I am going to quit. I will not put up with this insanity any longer. I can’t handle it. She always is on me. Why doesn’t she just let me work and do my job?

She pulls in the driveway. Husband is home. “Hope he had a good day,” she says again over the steering wheel. She goes in. They hug, kiss, sit down and say hello for a minute.

“How was your day?”
“Oh, it was O.K. I’m sick of that witch though.”
“Did she say something again?”
“Yes, she was sticking her nose in my business again.”
“You know, next time she does that you should just tell her to leave and let you get your work done.”
“It’s not quite that easy. She is the boss ya’ know.”
“I know that but that doesn’t give her a right to be so overbearing. Tell her that you are good at what you do and that you don’t need her meddling.”
“She’s so in your face, very intimidating…(kind of like you honey…now that I think of it…) and I don’t want to push the wrong button and lose my job.”
“Geez’, they can’t fire you for doing your job and saying how you feel. Don’t let her push you around.”
“I’ll take care of it.” (I have no idea how but I don’t want to talk about this anymore. Now I feel incompetent here too!)
“Good, if you don’t let it fester you can have it taken care of tomorrow and never deal with it again.”
”That’s easy to say, you are the supervisor at your office. I’m just a peon.”
“I respect people who speak their mind as long as they are respectful.”
“She doesn’t respect anyone but herself. She is not you.”
“I know. I just hate to see you pushed around.”
“I can handle myself.” (No I can’t. Why do I say things like that?)
“OK honey. Keep me posted.” (I’m not going to make her feel bad by continuing this.)

Solutions for Contempt and Hostility

Hostility is attacking someone with the intent to do verbal harm. Some people simply fly off the handle and criticize people. As we talked about earlier, that has to be stopped. Others will complain about behaviors that their partners do. That isn’t so bad in the long run though it isn’t exactly a recipe for happiness. What is among the worst offending sins that is detrimental to the soul is communication with the intent to harm whether in public or private.

If you or your partner are intentionally communicating with the intent to harm you must stop immediately. Hostility is something that no soul should be involved in. There is no benefit to hostility for anyone. The desire to harm others through communication is a sign of serious relationship problems that need to be corrected as soon as possible.

If your partner is intentionally communicating with you in a hostile manner you need to gently share this information with him at the first reasonable moment. The partner should be allowed to communicate his feelings about the reason for his hostility and then move to a solution. The solution is not the silent treatment but increased communication. However, as you deal with the specific issue of hostility do not bring up all the relationship problems of the past. This only gives cause to do the exact opposite of your goal. What model of communication would you propose? Propose it. Get agreement if appropriate and start communicating with the intention to make each other feel good about each other. The exercises on the coming pages will help you rebuild a relationship that was on treacherous ground.

Re-Creating Love and Caring in Relationships

Will the relationship end or will love be re-created? If it’s time to start over do so now. The following plan for re-creating your relationship will be of great help. Here’s how:

Design a completely safe environment in which you and your partner may communicate.

If you have been hitting your partner, change your behavior. Changing your emotions will happen later, but change your behavior now! Your partner was hit as a child. If you tend to blow up at your loved one, stop now. They were yelled at as a child. If you get up and leave when you are angry, stop it now. They were abandoned as a child and you’re acting just like the parent. Think carefully about these examples before moving on to number two. Create an atmosphere where it is safe to talk and communicate. Promise each other that this is a time to listen and not judge, evaluate or point fingers. Create an atmosphere where you can experience positive communication.

Describe three things that you can implement in your marriage today to create a safe environment for yourself and your partner to communicate in.

Stop all criticism immediately!

There is no such thing as constructive criticism to the parts of the unconscious mind that are attempting to finish their childhood!

Create sessions of healing acceptance.

Healing acceptance sessions occur when you and your partner sit down and talk just as if you had been hit by a car in an accident. You want to find out if the other person is all right and see what you can do for them. You need to tell your partner that you want him to acknowledge what you are about to tell him without rebuttal or explanation on his part. No defensiveness is necessary. You are simply telling him that you are wounded and that it hurts. You will not blame him. You will use statements like, “I feel...” and “I hurt...” He should say, “I understand,” and “What else do you want to tell me?” “Go on.” “OK.” Those four statements and questions are the sum of what the non-injured partner will say.

It is vitally important to never attack your partner during these, “healing acceptance” sessions. Keep it open and loving and then your relationship will be on it’s way forward!

Perform random acts of kindness for your partner.

Bring a card or gift home after work. A small and inexpensive gift shows your thoughtfulness and can do wonders for your relationship in a big way. Notice the key word is ‘random’. It means unpredictable. Be unpredictable with your times of giving.

Do something that you normally don’t do around the house. If you never do the dishes, do them one night. If you never cut the lawn, cut it. The unexpected can be very pleasant and very appreciated.

Return to a successful dating ritual you liked.

Was there something special you did while you were dating? Do it now.

Express your love and feelings for your partner with hugs, kisses and verbal affirmations of love, often.

Most people need to be hugged and kissed. Leo Buscaglia used to prescribe at least a dozen hugs per day for the maintenance of a relationship. Saying, “I love you,” may get old after 30,000 recitations but you never hear of anyone complaining that their partner tells them that they love them too often!

Discover their needs and wants while sharing yours.

For you to have a wonderful relationship discover what your partner currently loves about your relationship. Then ask your partner what he thinks could improve your relationship. Ask your partner the questions below, in the Successful Relationship Elicitation exercise. (Don’t do this all in one sitting!)

This exercise will help you discover what is important to your partner and will help you transform your relationship.

Successful Relationship Elicitation

The following questions are to be used as discovery tools for you and your partner to learn more about each other and deepen your bond. Use these questions as tools to gently start to help you and your partner “peel each other’s onions.” The first questions will help you and your partner build resources for which you can refer to in tough times. Later questions help discover weaknesses and areas that can use change or improvement. Spend about 20 minutes for each partner with these questions, over several days.

What is the best thing about our relationship?

What is the next best thing about our relationship?

What else?

What do you believe you should learn about me to improve our relationship?

What do you think I should learn about you to improve our relationship?

What are two things I do that annoy you?

What are two things you do, that you think annoy me?

How happy are you with our sex life?

What can I do to make our sex life more intoxicating?

What would you be willing to do to make our sex life more intoxicating?

When we argue from now on, should we agree to kiss and make up before the argument gets out of hand?

What will our “cue” be for this to happen?

What do you do around the house that you think I don’t appreciate?

What do you do at work that you think I don’t appreciate?

What do I do that you probably don’t appreciate as much as you could?

What do you want to know about my past that I haven’t told you?

What do you want me to know about your past that you haven’t told me?

When should I be jealous?

When do you think you should be jealous?

How can we go from having a good relationship to having a fantastic relationship?

All of these questions allow us to discover more about our partner in a couple of hours than we may have discovered in years. Questions are an under-used element of communication in our culture. Beginning to ask gentle questions will put you on the track to improving communication and thereby improving your relationship no matter how good or bad it already is.

Learning what is important to your partner and being certain your partner understands what you need and want makes having a good relationship much easier. You take the guess work out of knowing what helps the other person feel more at ease with you.

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Influence & Persuasion: How to Read Their Minds (Part 4)

2008-06-10T13:33:00.001-07:00

Experiment 4: Priming and the Brain

I showed half the group the name "Benjamin Franklin." I showed half the group the name "Bill Gates." Then I said, "Write down the name of a man."

I made no prediction. I simply had everyone read what name they wrote down. The people who were primed with Benjamin Franklin wrote down historical figures like FRANKLIN Roosevelt, Thomas Jefferson and George Washington. None of the men written down were living.

In the group that was shown Bill Gates, two interesting things happened. First, all of the men's names (save one) that were written down were names of men who were still living, including a significant number choosing BILL Clinton. The prime of "Bill" was more useful than I imagined it would be and other living wealthy (without exception) men were named as well.

The experiments show how powerful priming is. Priming CAUSES people to THINK and BEHAVE in specific ways that are largely predictable.

Let me do one with you right now. QUICKLY do this then see what happens.

Experiment 5: More Priming

QUICKLY: Write down the name of a card in a deck of cards. Any card at all.

Now

What's interesting...

...is that...

people who wait more than one second before writing their card down, end up writing random cards and colors. Those who respond instantly select one of three cards over 60% of the time: Ace of spades, Queen of Hearts and Jack of Diamonds. When only two predictions can be made, it's the AS or QH: 45% of the time.

This is a truly amazing test of psychic power of course...because it is all but impossible. Yet the hands go up and everyone looks at each other in amazement to see that they or their neighbor wrote down what was "sent" to them.

How does this work?

We are all primed to think certain things and do certain things in certain situations. If I tell you to write down a city in America, you are likely to write down New York. Most people do. People think city and the neural net immediately goes to the city with the most connections. On average, in America, that is New York.

Understanding specifically how and what people will respond and react to makes creating influential messages much easier than trying to guess what people will respond to.

I discuss the results of all the experiments in Science of Influence 37-48. With this, you have enough incredible insights to go out and change how you are working with clients and customers, today.

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Influecen & Persuasion: How To Read Their Minds (Part 3)

2008-06-09T12:01:00.000-07:00

Experiment 2: Get Them Calculating

Next I had people speak out loud the answers to these:

1+1 is...
2+2 is...
4+4 is ...
8+8 is...
16+ 16 is...
32 + 32 is...
64 + 64 is...

then I said,
"Write down a number between 12 and 5."

I predicted that they would write down the number 7. Precisely 50% of the participants did just that. Each participant was free to select 11, 10, 9, 8, 7, or 6. But there was no conscious selection. They simply did a mathematical operation after having done seven prior to my request. This one was subtraction. 12-5=7. Only 16% should have written 7 but 50% did because our mind is on autopilot and does what the last thing in it would trigger.

To follow up and elaborate on that point, I do something far more complex and truly mystifying.

Experiment 3: Instruct the Brain

I repeat all of the seven mathematical operations above then I say,

"Say blue"
"Say black"
"Say white"
"Say orange"
"Say black"
"Write down a vegetable."

Now there are hundreds of vegetables. Alfalfa sprouts, asparagus, beets, broccoli, brussels sprouts, cabbage, cauliflower, carrots, corn, and so on. But with certainty and confidence I state the impossible.

"I wanted you to write down carrot."

Indeed 45% chose carrot. A statistical impossibility, all things being equal...but all things weren't equal. I don't have psychic powers.... I simply know how to control the mind (mine and my client's).

The brain is made up of neurons that fire together and wire together to create engrams of information which create "thoughts." In this case the brain was instructed "vegetable black orange." There is no black vegetable. Carrots are indeed orange, and that is specifically why people immediately choose carrots. With even one second of a delay however, the number of people writing down carrot decreases dramatically. As soon as the mind "thinks," or "attends", your psychic powers...disappear. All the brain did was link the representation of vegetable to the one that was orange (as there is no encoding for black vegetable in the brain). Simple, as long as the person reacts instantly and doesn't pause to think.

We did dozens of similar tests to pave the way for some amazing applications for each person's business. I'll give you one example with fascinating results that has never been done anywhere before.

Turn the page for more experiments.

To Be Continued...

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Influence & Persuasion: How To Read Their Mind ( Part 2)

2008-06-05T08:57:00.000-07:00

What is the Secret?

The secret is in understanding how minds and bodies are controlled by specific stimuli or not. But, there's more.

The secret is also in understanding how people respond and/or react to certain stimuli. Knowing how people filter the past and how they will filter in the future. (If you don't have Science of Influence 1-36....you are missing...everything!)

Experiment 1: You First

I had all the Influence: Boot Camp participants watch me closely. When I "wrote" the numbers 1,2,3,4 high in the air with my finger and then asked them to write down one number, 45% chose (as I predicted when I turned the flip chart around) the number 3.

When there are hundreds of people in the audience, the number comes closer to 50 or 55% because we begin to identify with the crowd and think as one unit. That's when minds are very predictable. Think about it. 1/2 of all people will write down 3. In an audience of 500 the odds of that happening are millions to one. Absolute proof of psychic powers and connections with the people. Psychic influence at it's best?

It's no such thing.

People, on average, don't like going first (it's a way to get yourself thrown out of the gene pool) and they hate being last. They are compelled to not pick the first or last number. Given the choice of the second or third, they err to the cautious side and select the number three.

It's human nature. In 11 years of doing this bit of psychic prowess, it has never failed in a group larger than 13 people. Never.

I'll come back to what all this means to you as a person of influence later.

To be continued...

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How to Read Their Minds (Part 1)

2008-05-30T10:10:00.000-07:00

How would you like to be able to:

Cause people to make certain decisions instead of others, or

Simply say the right thing and have it trigger crucial emotions and thoughts necessary for you to hear "yes?"

"Mind control" is nothing short of exciting. The results of well-done research glisten like gold. Influence as an art is useful. As a science, it is indispensable.

We scientifically tested and re-tested about 30 brand new and some old experiments of mind control and persuasion at Influence: Boot Camp..

Many of the tests and experiments we did are based upon mentalism routines I often use to open up a presentation. They captivate immediately. People are fascinated when you can read their minds, tell them what happened in their past...with precision. And they literally think that psychic powers are possible because Kevin has them...(but I don't - no more than you do!).

Can You Literally Read Minds?

Pat Dillon is a wonderful real estate trainer who works on the east coast. And he was one of our Boot Camp participants. A question came up about "talking to the dead", and "telling a person their future". Pat was kind enough to let me "psychically" tell him these things:

That the someone special he was thinking about who had died was indeed his father,

That he died in a hospital of heart attack,

It was in a different city but not one far from his own home,

That he wasn't able to be with him but desperately wanted to be and,

That til this day a small amount of resentment existed by Pat toward the person who was able to be there, his brother.

He really wanted to be there. He couldn't.

At that point of the "reading" I stopped and reminded him that I am not psychic and I didn't want him to believe I was. The silence in the room, the looks of astonishment revealed minds that had been blown. It was undeniable evidence that I could read Pat's mind. But I couldn't. I could easily read his nonverbals, though.

"Talking to the dead" and reading minds is a teachable skill. In two days, I can show just about anyone how to "read someone's mind" or "tell them their past and future" with essentially no error.

The very same skills help develop the most persuasive messages.

What's the secret?

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Rewiring Her Brain. How to Do It. (Part 1)

2008-05-15T14:49:00.000-07:00

You want her to say “yes” to you. It’s as simple as that. You want her to listen to you. You want her to buy you, your product, your idea, or your service. You want her to change in therapy. The processes are all similar. Whether “she” is the beautiful woman across the room, the business you are selling to or an entire country…(No one ever refers to a beautiful ship, a great company or one’s country as a “he.”)…you begin by rewiring her brain.

There is a quality to the imprecision of a well-designed story that activates both sides of the brain. If a story is “too perfect or too pristine”, then you will fail in your goal. There must be “holes” in your story to keep attention. Just like every great piece of popular fiction from Sherlock Holmes to John Grisham’s work, you must have plenty of holes that need to be filled by the reader. You want to do the same. The goal is there. The linear process is there. The sensations are there. The feelings are there. But you don’t have all the information until the person says “yes.” This is a secret of captivation!

Women will tell you they find a man intriguing while he is still complex and somewhat mysterious. When the entire puzzle is solved, it is time to put the puzzle in the closet.

She is the product of her genes and her social construction. You can only rewire her brain if she finds you enticing in some respects. She will find you fascinating and want more of you when you make her brain light up like a Christmas tree. Both sides. The stories must link up her emotions, feelings, sensations as well as her sense of staying with the story moment by moment. This is true whether you are a man or woman, and whether you are selling yourself, your therapy or a product.

Here, I’m going to present to you a taste of new research about one set of strategies that we have discussed very little over the past year. This article touches on some of the more incredible information I’ve disseminated to you in the last few years….

In fact the process of rewiring her brain is, in part, a microcosm of changing groups, cultures, country and world opinion. Understanding the stickiness of one helps understand the other. And the way you change one person or a group is essentially the same although there are some additional challenges in changing the individual outside of the group. (It’s much easier to create change or get “yes” in a group than it is in a one-on-one situation.)

In this article you’re going to learn the following:

People’s beliefs and behaviors are “sticky.” (Most don’t change easily)

People’s brains, which generate these beliefs and behaviors, can be rewired.

Groups, societies and nations exhibit the same “stickiness.”

Virtually everyone’s brain can be re-wired.

Some people rewire faster than others due to individual differences.

Specific strategies.

You’ve learned a lot about how behavior generates attitudes in the past few months here in coffee. The fastest and best way to change someone’s attitude is to get them to perform a behavior. The second fastest is to tell a specific kind of story with several key ingredients…You will learn both today.

Nothing shows this clearer than the world events of the past 10 days.

10 days prior to engagement in Iraq, the United States Citizens were split about 50/50 as to whether this would be the right thing to do. Two days after the first engagement, polls showed 70-76% of citizens felt it was the right thing to do. Why? Behavior precedes attitude change. As soon as the collective behaves in one way, then individual change begins. Note: Not everyone will change in every collective.

FIRST KEY: Behavior precedes attitude.

It should be easy.

The troops will free Iraq and then her citizens can go and do what they want for the first time in their life. This will take time, because behavior and stories will take time to integrate. Freedom is a new conceptual reality and not a behavior or story.

But, in reality, freedom takes getting used to.

Very few people in the world, less than 5%, completely embrace and utilize freedom even when they have the opportunity. Most people wake up in the morning and go to the same place they did yesterday at the same pay, with the identical hours, with the same co-workers, with the same specific tasks or jobs to do.

Now, imagine that you take this normal person in a free society (Where one can choose what they do for a living, who they work for, determine what religion they will adhere to and what political beliefs they will choose.) and tell they can have an even better life. They are now “free to leave.” They are free to leave and go anywhere they choose. In the examples in this middle part of the story we will talk about their employment (as opposed to where they live, their hobbies, their friends, their spouse.

Recently in the Minneapolis Star-Tribune, there was an enormous article about how employees at Northwest Airlines “fear for their jobs.” Wow! The United States has 200,000,000 different jobs and a person is afraid they will lose their one job with only 199,999,999 left to compete for. If someone is only average they can compete for 100 million jobs…

You set them free.

What does the person do?

They freeze. They become fearful. They wait for the company to re-hire. They come back to the same job, pay, hours and co-workers. Every day. Very few will leave for a long time. It takes enormous pain to get people to move from point one to point two.

When a fish is placed in an aquarium and a clear plastic barrier is placed at the midpoint of the barrier the fish only has access to half the aquarium’s space to swim. After one week, the kind owner of the fish (who lovingly gave him one cubic foot of water to live in) removes the barrier so the fish can swim through the entire aquarium. What happens?

The fish stays on her side of the aquarium. She doesn’t move into the other side of the aquarium. She wouldn’t know how. There was always a barrier there, there continues to be one after it is removed.

This experiment has been done many times and is just one of hundreds of experiments that are related to changing behavior when one is free to do so.

All of these experiments and an analysis of interpersonal communications and social change show that without enforcing behavioral change…almost all changes are accomplished slowly. There are exceptions. One notable change was the willingness of American Citizens to relinquish some private information in exchange for a substantially safer country to live in. (Airport Security, Immigration Information Upgrades, etc.) This change, which would have taken decades in normal circumstances, happened in less than six months. A rare exception to the rule. The exception was, of course, one of necessity and not “will” per se. Fear is a potent motivator, as you have learned from past articles.

Research on recidivism at prisons across America shows that the vast majority of people who enter prison once soon come back again. The longer they stay, the more likely they are to return.

It is indeed very difficult for even the most reformed prisoner to return to the “real world” after living in prison. The time in prison is very regimented. Every basic absolute need (food, water, shelter, clothing) is met even though few core human drives are fulfilled. (Sex, safety, acquisition).

The prisoner is put on a schedule. They are told when to eat, where to eat, how to eat. When and where to sleep. When and where to exercise. When and where to work. There is no choice. At the onset of captivity the prisoner resists these changes from the real world. After 4-8 weeks, the changes become the new status quo and become very impermeable to change. The more regimented, the more difficult to change.

On “the outside,” there are choices. Too many choices for someone used to captivity. The former prisoner must learn to eat on a different schedule, eat different food, shower at different times, exercise at will and sleep on a chosen schedule. The choices are too numerous for most to handle and the prisoner ultimately returns to that which he knows best.

Much like leaving a job after five or ten years is considered a devastating experience by most, the prisoner is thrown into a state of flux upon release. No matter how unpleasant the status quo is, the brain knows what to expect and can thus predict what will happen…the same thing that happened yesterday. The need to be able to predict the events of the future has historically been critical to human survival…and….it is also the great obstacle in change. The person leaving the job tends to return to the line of work he just left. The prisoner returns to the cellblock he once lived in.

Even in a free society like The United States, Canada, or the U.K., people tend to shy away from utilizing their freedom. On average, people prefer far fewer choices than having a universe of possibilities.

The oldest part of the brain, what we will call the unconscious part of the brain, moves through day to day activity by reacting to the same stimuli in the same fashion that has been successful every day in the past. When new information and challenges are presented the brain doesn’t know how to respond with certainty so it doesn’t. The conscious part of the mind pauses and “thinks.” It starts to look at possibilities and options. It is…work.

What will happen in a country like Iraq?

With a respected, trustworthy, caring interim leader who is seen to have the best interests of the masses at heart… and delegates labor on a somewhat socialistic system, they will probably succeed. Ultimately, in 10 years, a conversion to a democratic society where freedom of choice exists if the person chooses to utilize the freedom can work. These changes are slow though. Anyone expecting social stability even in the best case in a currently oppressed society, is expecting too much. It takes time. Sometimes a generation or more. Many people believe that capitalism and democracy “don’t work” after having lived in a “democratic society” after communism or a dictatorship. And indeed, it is rare that the first generation “works” because you would be expecting an entire nation of people to be able to intelligently choose jobs, spouses, hobbies, religions, political parties when they have done so.

It’s much like asking a kindergartner to tell you which is the safest street to take on her walk to school. She may guess correctly but she probably will fail until she learns how to make choices…makes the choices…then tests them by walking them. Then she will become convinced in her own mind which is safest…whether it really is or not.

So how do you rewire her brain if you can’t actually get her to take physical actions?

Story….but only a specific kind of story.

In Covert Hypnosis Volume 1, (now available in the Covert Hypnosis CD Set, I gave you some of the examples of stories but I’ve never revealed the ingredients of a story that will begin the rewiring process in her brain.

When you are talking with that (beautiful) woman across the table from you, you may fail at getting her to take an action but you won’t fail at getting her unconscious mind’s attention and begin changing circuitry. But you must do it correctly.

Stories can destroy your chances of getting to “yes,” or they can ensure it.

Effective stories must be goal oriented and linear to engage the left brain. If you stop there you will lose (and so will she!). This is one of many reasons why most self help programs don’t work. Communicating a goal to yourself or someone else in and of itself is simply going to fail. Don’t even bother.

You must engage the right brain, also. You must observe a Christmas tree of lights going off and on in the right brain. How do you accomplish this?

There must be verbal and nonverbal activation of emotion in your story, which will turn on the lights in her right brain. This, combined with a linear and goal-oriented story will fully engage her mind in what you are saying. In addition, it begins processing and reprocessing of information and her thoughts about you, literally beginning the rewiring process and putting you in a positive light.

KEY POINT: Feelings, thoughts, behaviors and sensations must be included in all rewiring stories or the rewiring will fail. The influential communication will be lost on her and you walk away with an expensive dinner and a “thanks for the evening.” Or you lose the sale…or you lose the battle for the public mind.

To learn much more about sculpting the brain you will want the Covert Hypnosis CD Set and Workbook. (New! - see below.)

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Flubbing The Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (Part 3)

2008-05-13T19:01:00.001-07:00

10) Not telling your stories with intention.

Before you begin speaking, over-ride the compulsion to blurt out your story.

Think:
What is the intention of your story?
Why are you going to tell this story?
Will anyone who listens to this story be hurt by what you say?

You might think that it's not that important to communicate exactly what you mean but remember December 2002? Quite often someone tells a story and they haven't thought about who they are telling the story to or how it might easily be misinterpreted to mean something else.

Trent Lott, A Mississippi Republican got himself stuck in a public relations nightmare and gave up the dream of a lifetime in December of 2002. Destined to become the House Majority Leader in January of 2003, he made a critical mistake that everyone should be attentive to and learn from.

Speaking at a party honoring Senator Strom Thurmond's 100th birthday, he opened Pandora's box and never knew what his words of appreciation for the elderly Senator would do. The drama of misunderstood words caused even the President of The United States to distance himself from Lott.

Speaking for the President, Ari Fleischer said after one speech that Bush was not calling for Lott to step aside as Leader or as Senator.

"The president does not think that Sen. Lott needs to resign," Fleischer said.

The problem? Thurmond, the South Carolina Republican who ran as a third-party candidate for president in 1948 as a segregationist had changed his views over the ensuing 50 years of public service. But the comments by Lott made it appear that Lott was still in favor of them. In 1948 most blacks in many southern U.S. states, including Mississippi, were not allowed to vote.

Lott actually didn't say anything that was racist but the interpretation by his adversaries was easy to spin into the public mind. Shortly after the speech, Lott called Bush, and his office issued a statement saying the president was right.

"Senator Lott agrees with President Bush that his words were wrong and he is sorry," said Lott spokesman Ron Bonjean. "He repudiates segregation because it is immoral."

Lott expressed similar sentiments in his call to Bush, Fleischer said.

So just what did Lott say at the Thurmond celebration?

"We're proud of it. And if the rest of the country had followed our lead, we wouldn't have had all these problems over the years,"

Later he would have to clarify what he meant but it was too late, he hadn't thought through how is words might effect the minds of his greatest adversaries.

"I'm sorry for my words," said Lott, who has said he would not step aside as Senate Republican leader. Speaking to WABC radio in New York and then on BET days later, Lott said he had wanted to honor "Thurmond the man" but not back segregationist policies.

The Congressional Black Caucus called for a formal censure of Lott, saying anything less would be seen as approval of his remarks by Bush, Congress and the Republican party. In Mississippi, civil rights officials said his apology was insufficient, and accused him of having enduring ties to groups that are believed to have racist views. Several major U.S. newspapers published editorials demanding Republicans reject Lott as their Senate leader.

A few misunderstood words caused Lott his reputation and drove many of those closest to him to leave his side.

What is the lesson learned?

Lesson: When telling your stories, think about how they will be received by your listeners and the people your listeners will talk to. You aren't likely to ever be under media scrutiny like a political leader, but the point is clear. Think before speaking.

In a conversation with friends, business colleagues and the like you will often hear them say something which frustrates you. You will hear things that you don't understand. Because you really want to know what the person means and feels, you must learn to tease out the intention.

Did they mean what you thought they just said?
Did they mean what you heard?

In Lott's case a friend might say to the Senator, "So are you saying you liked the way Thurmond thought about segregation in 1948."

He might reply, "Of course not. What a stupid thought. I meant that I really admire Thurmond."

It is that simple and difficult. When you don't understand their story, seek to understand before criticizing the person!

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Flubbing The Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (Part 3)

2008-05-12T16:10:00.000-07:00

8) Poke holes in other people's special stories.

They are telling you about their adventure to the audit at the IRS office.

"I was so nervous, I'm driving to the IRS office and I'm sitting there thinking, oh man, I have to remember to NOT talk. Shut up. Be quiet. Don't say anything."

"What did you do to get audited?"

"Huh? I filed Schedule C and that means..."

"Did you report all of your income?"

"I think so."

"You THINK so? What are you nuts? You have to report all of your income."

"Of course you have to report all of your income. Anyway, I'm on the way to the IRS office and..."

"Did you overstate your deductions?"

"Of course not. I ..."

"If you overstate your deductions they will bust your ..."

"I KNOW that and I didn't. Let's just drop the whole thing."

"O.K. I was just trying to help."

And so it goes. Our storyteller was preparing to tell the story of her big victory over the IRS auditor and our storyteller's friend poked big holes in the story. So big that it took all the fun and excitement out of sharing the story.

The appropriate response would have been to listen with fascination and a sense of curiosity, saving all questions and comments for much, much later.

9) Overtly brag about yourself too much.

"I don't want to brag but the place would have gone under without me. I was there every day at dawn and stayed til the sun went down. I built the company and once they had 100 employees there was no appreciation at all. They down sized me. It was unbelievable. I literally designed almost every major piece that we produced and when it came time for them to decide who to let go, it was me. I couldn't believe it. They never would have gone public without me. They never would have met their payroll without me. I just can't believe they didn't see what I was worth to them."

True or not, bragging never pays. There are so many effective ways to bolster your reputation and communication credentials when talking to people that you never need to overstate your contribution to a relationship, a project, a business, a deal, or anything. Learn how to tell a great story where you were a hero without bragging at all!

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Flubbing the Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (Part 3)

2008-05-10T11:18:00.000-07:00

5) Exaggerate when telling your story.

"...and there were millions of people watching the parade!"
(There were 850 according to newspaper accounts.)

"...I never even looked at her!"
(Never looked?!)

"...before he started the diet he weighed 300 pounds!"
(OK it was really 240.)

A story worth telling is worth telling accurately. Tell it with enthusiasm, zeal and intensity. Tell it accurately. It's vital that all of your communication is true without being critical or unnecessarily unkind. Exaggeration is an invitation for people to not listen or care.

6) Ignore feedback during your story telling.

"...and then she comes in the door and she has this skirt on that is so ridiculously short. I mean who is she kidding. She's not a teenager anymore." (friend nods politely while fighting back a yawn, eyes begin to glaze over) "...do people have no sense of decency anymore? I just wonder what makes some people tick. Don't people pay attention to what they are wearing and see how it makes everybody feel?"
(friend shrugs and nods with feigned frustration)

The woman telling the story about the short skirted office friend could have spared her listener the despair of this antiquated story had she only seen the feigned frustration, the shrug, the yawn, but it was not something the storyteller was looking for. It should have been. It's critical to always pay attention to how people are receiving the stories you tell.

You must pay close attention to your listener's body language while you are telling your story. Is their body language telling you they are interested, or impatient for the end? Are their lips moving, ready to jump in on your story, or are they listening with awe. Not learning to understand the body language of other people is one of the mistakes we make in communication.

7) Respond to other people's stories with a story of your own.

"...and I went to Cancun and you should have seen the beaches. They were beautiful. The Princess Hotel was absolutely breathtak..."
"You stayed at the Princess. It's really not bad you know. On our third trip to Cancun we stayed at The Princess, in the Oceanview Suite. They reserved it for us because John helped with the design of the building in '98. I didn't really like The Princess that much. It was a wannabee hotel. But since then we've stayed at the new Sheraton. It just has everything and they take care of you like you are royalty there. I think if we go back and don't go to Tahiti on our next trip, we're going to stay there again."

"Cancun sure is nice."
(The energy has been discharged from her being and the desire to communicate further with her friend went with her energy.)

This is one of the really sad things we do in communicating with others. Instead of teasing out the rest of the story from our friend, we immediately jump in with a story of our own. Research shows that people feel better when you pursue their story to it's completion, then disclose (share) something of your own.

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Flubbing the Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (part 2)

2008-05-09T08:30:00.000-07:00

1) Be boring.

Being boring centers around being focused on yourself. Even when telling stories you must be paying attention to the person who is listening to you. You must think ahead of time, "Why do they want to hear this story?" "How can I tell this story so it is interesting to them?"

Your stories will usually be about your experiences. How you tell your stories and how you position yourself in your stories will determine just how interested the other person will be.

2) Talk for too long.

If you are in an everyday conversation, you probably have less than one minute to tell your story. Learn to tell what I call a "thumb nail" or a "Reader's Digest condensed version" of your story.

I remember when my sister was a pre-teen she would come home from the movies and virtually recite all the lines of the movie line for line, scene for scene. My eyes would glaze over by the time she got past the opening credits. 30 minutes later she would finish and I would be nodding my head. I loved my sister. I just didn't have the heart to tell her. Over the years she learned to tell the "Reader's Digest condensed version". Today she is an executive with Johnson and Johnson.

3) Speak too slowly.

People have very short attention spans. Most companies pitch their products in thirty second commercials on television. The newest wave of men's magazines include the best sellers Stuff and Maxim. These publications feature "articles" as short as a paragraph. Our attention spans are so short that USA Today seems to be filled with articles that are far too detailed for a lot of people. The message needs to be delivered quickly and concisely in print and in everyday conversation.

One of the greatest problems people have when telling a story is speaking far too slowly. Think of the people who are enjoyable to listen to. Comedians. Robin Williams: Speaks quickly. Dennis Miller: Speaks quickly. Bill Cosby: Speaks moderately. George Wallace: Speaks quickly. Billy Crystal: Moderate to fast paced. Jerry Seinfeld: Moderate to fast paced. There aren't a lot of people who make you laugh who also speak slowly when they are telling a story. Yes, there is an exception to every rule, but here is the rule: Speak a little more quickly and you have a better chance of having your story heard and enjoyed.

4) Speak in a garbled way so that people can't understand you.

Many people look away when they are communicating with you. They think you have a universal translator that translates all languages including garbled English. Remember that millions of people are hard of hearing and they have little chance of hearing the average woman (who speak at frequencies much higher than men) speak at all. When you speak, look at the person you are talking to. Speak clearly. Speak loud enough so they can hear you. All of this may seem obvious but having observed thousands of people communicate, I promise you that this one mistake causes big problems in relationships; problems that could easily be avoided.

To read about Mistake # 5 come back soon!

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Flubbing The Story: 10 Communication Mistakes We All Make (part 1)

2008-04-24T11:50:00.001-07:00

Most conversations include at least one story. Some longer conversations include two dozen or more stories! When you tell someone a story, it's really important to you that the person you are talking to listens. It makes you feel good when they "oooooh" and "ahhhhhh." When people gloss over your stories you feel let down and sometimes hurt. Our stories are important to us and we want them to be important to others.

Everything you have become today is part of your life story, the sum of all of your stories about your life. It means the world to you when people are fascinated by your stories.

Remember when the little Texas girl, Jessica McClure fell in the well and got trapped? It took three days to get her out. The nation watched. Would she live or die? Could the rescuers get her in time? That happened in 1987, you don't even know Jessica but you probably remember it to this day! Each year millions of people die and experience incredible events. The story of Jessica was a great story and it unfolded right before our eyes. The media calls these kinds of stories, "human interest" stories. They sell news shows because people are engaged by the drama. Each of us has at least one human interest story to tell about ourselves. A time when you survived something dramatic. You overcame an illness. You persisted until you succeeded. You helped someone in great need and someone found out about it and told someone else who told the news and then you made the news. All of these are great stories.

Telling stories well and listening to them with fascination are two important factors in maintaining good communication. You'd think it would be easy to tell and listen to stories but this isn't the case and "flubbing the story" is the first of the mistakes we make when communicating.

There are 10 ways to flub a story.

Be boring.

Talk too long.

Speak too slowly.

Speak in a garbled way so that people can't understand you.

Exaggerate when telling your story.

Ignore feedback during your story telling.

Respond to other people's stories with a story of your own.

Poke holes in other people's special stories.

Overtly brag about yourself just a little too much.

Not telling your stories with intention.

Let's look at each of these 10 ways to flub a story and then let's talk about how to tell a story so people will listen, be fascinated and be asking for more!

To Be Continued...

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Masting The Art Of Communication (Part 5)

2008-04-23T15:17:00.000-07:00

CLOSURE IN COMMUNICATION

The ability to politely and effectively close a cycle of communication is a skill that more people need to become adept at. Closure is the ability to acknowledge the other person, say "thank you" to the other person or confirm that what was said was understood. Closure is the final step in any segment or cycle of communication. You have experienced communication that did not "end." Someone walked out of a room, hung up the phone, switched subjects in mid-conversation without explaining why, etc.

When complete cycles of communication are not accomplished, it leaves the person with tremendous frustration and often anger. You can always be certain to have closure in communication by acknowledging that you have heard and understood what a person has said to you. It is not necessary to agree with someone if you are not prepared to. It is necessary to close each cycle of communication.

Tape record the following Image-Creation to experience a presentation or speech you will make, in advance. Listen to the Image-Creation before making your presentation.

Image-Creation # 6 An Award Winning Speech

Find a quiet and calm environment. Sit or lay down in a comfortable position.
Close your eyes and take a deep breath and release it.
Go out into the future and imagine a time when someone asks you to come and give a speech on the secrets of success as you know them and have applied them in your life to get where you are at this future stage of your life.
As you give this speech, listen to the applause. Notice the smiling faces in the audience. Carefully observe what the members of your audience are wearing. What does the room smell like? What is the temperature like in the room?
Listen to the sound of your voice as you speak.
Be certain that you are looking through your eyes as the speaker as you give this speech.
As you close your speech, observe the audience give you a standing ovation. Meet the people in the front row. Shake their hands and thank them for caring so much about you and what you had to say.
Confirm for the people you talk to after the speech that they too can be successful if they will simply design their own life. As you feel the most enthusiastic and exhilarated you may return to now.
Take a few deep breaths and open your eyes when you are ready.
Once your eyes are open, remember the most exciting and exhilarating moment of the speech and squeeze your middle finger. You are anchoring these feelings and this accomplishment to your middle finger.

BECOME FASCINATED BY WHAT OTHERS CAN SHARE WITH YOU.

Most people seem to try to be interesting when they should be interested. The truly successful communicator is a curious person. He wants to know more about other people. She is truly fascinated by what other people can share with them. You may sincerely wonder how you could be interested in some people. If what interests them doesn't interest you, then discover how they became interested in what they are interested in. In other words, if you don't like fishing and someone you're communicating with does, find out how they became so excited about fishing. What experiences do they have that started this fascination.

By making others feel special, they will feel that you are special.

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Communication: Mastering The Art Of Communication (part 4)

2008-04-22T15:41:00.001-07:00

VALUES DETERMINATION MODEL

"What is most important thing to you about X?" (Buying a house, choosing a restaurant to eat at, your job, etc.)
How do you know when you have gotten X? (How do you know when you are happy? How do you know that you have the right house? How do you know that you have gotten a good deal on buying a car? etc.)
What's the next most important thing to you about X?
What else is important to you about X?
Until then, here are a few more distinctions that can make a difference for you now!
RAPPORT
It is probably fair to say that most people enjoy talking about themselves. This is one reason the values determination model is so effective. You are asking people about their most highly valued feelings and thoughts. This is an excellent way to augment the development of rapport in communication. Rapport is the perceived affinity between two or more people.
Rapport is the perceived affinity between two or more people.
The ability to build and maintain rapport in communication is one of the key skills of a master communicator. One of the greatest examples of rapport building is found in the New Testament. Notice how the apostle Paul uses rapport to prepare his listeners for what he wants to communicate to them.
The setting is this: Paul is in Athens, Greece. Athens has a largely pagan culture. The city is filled with idols and temples to mythological gods. As a Jew, this is repugnant to Paul. Some of the local philosophers have challenged Paul to a debate. They bring him to the infamous Mars Hill. It is here that we pick up Paul's communication mastery...
"Men of Athens, I perceive that in all things you are very religious." (This immediately breaks their skeptical pattern of thinking and creates an instant bridge for Paul to metaphorically walk on.)
"...for as I was passing through and considering the objects of your worship, I even found an altar with this inscription: TO THE UNKNOWN GOD. Therefore, the One whom you worship without knowing, Him I proclaim to you."
(Paul uses his persuasive communication skills brilliantly. The altar is one of THEIR objects of worship. The God he wants to discuss is one of THEIR gods. He is not going to talk about some new god!)
"God, who made the world and everything in it, since He is the Lord of heaven and earth, does not dwell in temples made with hands." (God MADE the world, he tells them. He's OBVIOUSLY much too BIG to live in a human temple!)
Paul continues his discourse, explaining that God gives us life, our breath, and a place to live. He explain that God needs nothing from us.
"...for in Him we live and move and have our being, as also some of YOUR OWN POETS HAVE SAID, 'For we are also his offspring."
"Therefore, since we are the offspring of God, we ought not to think that the Divine Nature is like gold or silver or stone, something shaped by art and man's devising."
Paul once again maintains rapport by returning to citing the Greeks authorities. Building rapport is one step. Maintaining rapport and bridging into the message you wish to tell is another.
"Truly, these times of IGNORANCE God overlooked, but NOW commands all men everywhere to repent, because He has appointed a day on which he will judge the world in righteousness by the man he has ordained. He has given assurance of this to all by raising Him from the dead."
Paul has reached the crux of his message and has held the attention of his audience. It was the rapport that Paul built with the antagonistic philosophers that is the key to his successful communication here.
Rapport is much more than verbal compliments of course. It is the non-verbal behavior that is involved as well. Non-verbal behavior that enhances the building of rapport can be found in my book, Psychology of Persuasion.

To Be Continued...

Communication: Mastering The Art Of Communication (part 3)

2008-04-21T12:16:00.000-07:00

OUTCOME BASED THINKING

When effectively participating in interpersonal communication, a key element on your part is that of outcome based thinking. Outcome based thinking entails knowing what your objective is before entering into a task, communication or project. It is not always necessary to consciously use outcome based thinking in interpersonal communication. There are many times that it is simply nice to 'be' with someone. In these cases it is often far more enjoyable to remain non-directive.

When do you use outcome based thinking (OBT)? You will use OBT when you are negotiating anything. You will normally use OBT when you are in problem solving and/or task oriented communication. Whenever you want or need something you will use OBT. You will almost always use OBT when you are at work or in your business setting.

How do you use OBT for effective thinking and effective communicating? By providing yourself with a road map that allows you to know where you are going is the first step. I've often said that, "once you know where you are and where you are going, it's relatively easy to get there."

KNOW WHAT YOU WANT WHEN COMMUNICATING.

It is difficult to effectively communicate if you do not know what you want in the communication. Living life by design means that you are empowering your life with true purpose and mission.

OBT starts at the macro level, then works its way to the micro level. As you live a designer's life, you begin to notice how most of what you do is within the larger context of your mission and purpose in life. The process of OBT is detailed below. Think of an upcoming event, appointment or situation where you will hope to effectively communicate with someone. Once you have something specific in mind, integrate that situation into the model below.

OUTCOME BASED THINKING MODEL

What precisely do I want out of the process?

What does the other person want? If I don't know, what are they likely to want?

What is the least I will accept out of the process?

What problems could come up in the process?

How will I deal with each one, and if possible, use the problem as a BENEFIT for the other person?

How will I bring the process to a conclusion?

You can use this model when you are negotiating the purchase of a new home. It's also simple enough to integrate into daily life communications with your life partner, children and friends. Excellence in communication often follows the discovery of your fellow communicator's values. This model allows you to more thoughtfully structure whatever message you are preparing to "give." By actually taking the time to think through this process in a step by step fashion, you become more comfortable in expressing your feelings, thoughts, and emotions with others. Similarly, it makes you very aware of what others needs and wants, or more simply, values are.

Everyone has values but values differ from person to person. Even when people have the same values, they can differ greatly in their hierarchy. Two people may each have health and love as extremely important values. One of the people may have love as the most important value, the other could have health. This seemingly small differentiation can in and of itself mold different personalities. Learning the key values of other people is therefore tantamount to being an effective communicator.

Discovering the values of others can be accomplished by using the values determination model below. A few simple questions of your fellow communicator will help you learn what is truly important to them. It is interesting to note that values are context-dependent. In other words, what is important to someone in a love relationship may have a different value in a business relationship. These differences are accounted for in the model below as you will notice.

Communication: Mastering The Art Of Communication (Part 2)

2008-04-20T18:05:00.000-07:00

INTRODUCTORY INTERPERSONAL COMMUNICATION EXERCISES

Silence-

Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. For two minutes you must both sit in silence. You must look at your partner for the entire two minute period. You succeed in this exercise if you are able to keep your eyes on your partner for the entire two minutes. It is not important if your partner maintains eye contact with you. It is only important that you look the entire two minutes at the other person's face or eyes without moving your glance to anything else.

When you have your partner's approval for completing this exercise you may move to the closure exercise below.

Closure-

Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. You will ask your partner to look at various objects or locations in the room until you have asked your partner to look at a total of 20 objects. After your partner looks at each of these objects, you will say, "thank you." Once your partner has looked at twenty objects, your partner will tell you that you have successfully accomplished this exercise designed to teach you to close cycles of communication.

With your partner's approval you may move to the next exercise.

Instigation Deflection-

Sit across from your partner at a distance of 18-48 inches. In this exercise, you will sit and listen to your partner attempt to harm you emotionally with his words. He has two minutes to go on a verbal rampage against you. He can say anything he wants, using any tone of voice he wants. His objective is to get you to argue or disagree with him. You successfully accomplish this exercise if you remain silent during the entire two minute time period and maintain eye or face contact without looking away. If you laugh or talk, you must start over.

At the end of the two minutes, thank your partner and make sure he knows that this was your exercise and that you know what he said was designed by you, to help you. He meant no harm. You asked him to do this exercise to help you deflect the verbal abuses of others. With your partner's approval you may move on to the final exercise to help you in confrontational communications.

Answer my question-

Sit between 18 and 48 inches across from your partner. Ask them a specific question.

"Do dogs meow?"

You are going to say, "thank you," when your partner answers you with "no." However the partner can choose not to respond, change the subject or ask you the question back instead of answering your question with a no. Your partner may do this four times for each of these four questions. He must give you a straight "no" answer on or before the fifth time you ask, "do dogs meow."

You succeed if you only say, "Do dogs meow?" after each non-responsive answer and when you say "thank you" to the correct answer to the question.

The other three questions are these:

"Are mailmen all women?"

"Do birds eat sharks?"

"Can you walk on water?"

The correct answer to all the questions is "no," and you must eventually elicit a no response from your partner. You may only use the words in the original question. This is how you succeed. No time limit is necessary, but each question should take no more than two minutes.

The purpose of this exercise is to teach you to remain focused on the goal of your communication and your ability to ask the same question after it has been ignored or a new direction has been taken by your partner.

When these exercises are completed, have your partner express his or her true feelings about you, to you. If anything he said still has you upset, make certain you discuss this now with your partner.

These exercises teach you to communicate and maintain your composure easily and effectively in difficult situations. Having mastered these difficult exercises you will be ready to move toward the macro level of interpersonal communication.

To Be Continued...

Communication: MASTERING THE ART OF COMMUNICATION

2008-04-19T16:18:00.000-07:00

Communication is your door to financial wealth, loving relationships, and all that is good in life. Communication is the most talked about and least understood area of human behavior. Our ability to communicate in so many ways is unique to humans on earth. People who do not have the ability to speak can be wonderful communicators. The loss of one or two senses certainly can impair communication, but it does not have to stop communication. Effective communication is rarely taught and even more rarely learned in our society. What follows is an outline of a few of the many keys to mastering the art of communication. Superior communication skills are unquestionably vital to living a life by your own design.

BASIC COMPONENTS OF COMMUNICATION

Realizing that everything that is said, heard, seen and felt is filtered through at least two people's experiences, biology and genetics is important in understanding...why misunderstandings are more common than understanding.

Today, I'll show you an effective way to work through the muddle of past experiences and negative emotional triggers.

Interpersonal communication includes at least the following elements:

A transmitter. Someone who wants to "send" a message verbally or non-verbally to someone else.

A receiver. Someone who will "receive" a message from another person.

A message. Information in some form.

Noise. Anything that interferes or causes the deletion, distortion or generalization of the exact replication of information being transmitted from the mind of the transmitter to the mind of the receiver.

Feedback. Both the sender and receiver constantly elicit verbal and nonverbal feedback to the other person.

Replication. The duplication of understanding in one person that is in the mind of another person. Replication is an approximate goal and philosophically not perfectly possible, though desired.

Understanding. An approximation of what the message means to the sender by the receiver.

Excellent communication is the ability to transmit a message by the sender to a receiver and have that message replicated in the receiver's mind. Excellent communication is the ability to receive a transmitted message by the sender and have the receiver be able to replicate the form and intent of the message in the receiver's mind. If the receiver is uncertain about some aspect of a communication, it is the responsibility of the receiver to clarify the communication through the artful use of questions. The transmitting communicator also accepts the responsibility for the result of a communication. This means the transmitter must be certain to code a communication so it is received in a manner that is understandable to the receiver.

All of this is of no consequence if a person is uncomfortable in the communication process to begin with.

Do you ever feel uncomfortable communicating with people in "one on one" setting? If so, you will benefit from the following exercises which are designed to help ease discomfort in one on one situations. Please ask a friend to help you.

To Be Continued...

18 Ways To Handle The Argumentive Person

2008-04-18T09:03:00.000-07:00

The Argumentative Communicator

Do you enjoy playing the devil's advocate? Are you constantly offering your opposing opinion when it is not asked for? Do you find yourself saying the word "but" often in your conversation with others?

You may be an argumentative "talker." There is an effective way to take an opposing view of others opinions, beliefs and values, but it may destroy rapport. There is a way to give your opinion, but it may be received as unwanted advice. When you continue to oppose the comments of your listener, you run the risk of making them feel wrong, stupid, or uninformed.

Men and women seem to view communication differences in different ways. I often notice that men will say, "we had a debate" or "an intense conversation" and women will indicate that they had "a fight" or an "argument."

The argumentative communicator, whether a man or a woman, should be aware that their communication efforts may immediately be perceived as a "fight" (the worst of the four above labels) regardless of the intent of the communicator.

I have a confession to make. I was in debate in high school and like Jack Welch (former CEO of GE) I find a good debate stimulating and enlightening. Debate generally can be described as a structured discussion where individuals cite evidence about an issue in an attempt to persuade another person. Debate is an intellectual process where it is OK and preferable to be "right." While I do enjoy debating very much, I do not enjoy arguing, which is emotionally based.

Arguing is where two or more people disagree about some subject, they raise their voices and make the discussion personal by bringing in the other person's intentions.

What's the difference then between debate and an argument?

In debate we cite evidence with the intent to persuasively validate our point of view. It is like a chess game.

In arguments we cite evidence, make claims about the negative intention of the other person's behavior, and become very emotional to the point where apologies will be in order after the communication is finished because one or both parties will have their feelings hurt. In an argument the individual feels attacked. When the attack is perceived as hostile, with intention to harm, I call this a "fight."

Perceptions are tricky things. One person may be simply debating or discussing a subject intellectually with no intent to harm. The other person may perceive such communication as intending to harm them and they feel as if they are in a fight with a need to defend themselves instead of their point of view!

Sometimes it takes quite a long time for the person who is debating to finally figure out that the other person is upset and fighting.

There are no easy and clearly defined answers to rapidly determine whether someone thinks YOU are arguing, fighting, debating or discussing. Therefore it is vital to ask if it's "OK to have this conversation" or at least smile. It's also important to keep sarcasm out of discussions and debates if it isn't obvious to the other person that you are having fun with them...instead of poking fun at them.

18 Ways to Handle the Argumentative Person ( Part 1)

2008-04-16T12:02:00.000-07:00

Genesis: Argument and Hostility From Boredom? How could my boredom lead the way to making me hostile just minutes or seconds letter?

How could my mental drifting bring on contempt and criticism?

And once you are dealing with the Argumentative Person(ality) how do you defuse the contempt, criticism and hostility?

This is a pretty cool article but it takes me a minute to "set it up right." (In fact you can go back later and analyze the structure of this article and use the model for your own writing if you like!)

....Have you ever been in a conversation where you found your mind drifting, dreaming, and struggling to stay focused? Do you remember how it feels to try and listen as someone drones on and on?

When we are faced with a poor communicator there can be many reasons for a "missed connection."

Often there are words and phrases that simply shut us down, and prevent us from listening as well as we would like. Many times the person communicating is injecting so many negative words and ideas that we begin to feel down and heavy inside. It may just be that the person you are communicating with is boring you because the content of the communication is all about them, about stories you don't care to listen to, and people you have never met!

What if that poor communicator who is boring someone to tears...is you?

Ouch!

How would you know if you are the one who is inserting negative associations, bringing up insignificant details, droning on about you, you, you? How do you know if someone is really interested in what you have to say... that they are really engaged in the conversation? What is your method of observing whether or not the person or group is interested and intrigued, or tired and looking for the door?

As you move toward communication mastery, you begin to find that you learn from everyone you talk with. You will notice the subtle cues that tell you if you are in good rapport, speaking in a way that your audience understands, and using words that create desire and interest. You will be willing to identify in yourself those things that push others away and prevent them from listening as well as you would like. This is a very potent aspect of self-awareness that allows you to stay fascinating to everyone around you!

Today, I want you to look at the areas of communication where people most often go wrong. You're going to find out how others upset you.

You will discover how you may have been alienating others and helping them to feel negative when they are around you.

As you read these scenarios, notice if you see yourself in them. You might as well take the time to be very honest about your style of communication and the effects you are having on those around you.

To Be Continued... Meanwhile visit Kevin Hogan's Website.

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Presentation (part 5)

2008-04-15T13:27:00.001-07:00

5. Principle of RECOGNITION

People often buy things because of REPUTATION and/or RECOGNITION. And of course, everyone buys things because of NAME RECOGNITION.

We buy things because of FAMILIARITY.

Why?

Because of the scientific principle of priming. It's that simple and it makes companies millions and billions of dollars every year.

Answer these questions without thinking...

What is your favorite soft drink?
What is your favorite brand of jeans?
What kind of pain reliever do you use?

Now, why do you drink the same soft drink over and over? You like the taste, right? Why do you buy the same jeans over and over? You like the fit, right? Why do you buy the same pain reliever over and over? You like the lack of pain, right?

In other words, you buy what you are FAMILIAR with. You buy because of the REPUTATION each of those has with you. You buy because you RECOGNIZE them.

We make many purchases because of that very reason.

KEYPOINT: We buy because of recognition, reputation and familiarity.

6. Principle of NECESSITY

Let's face it, sometimes you and I buy because we NEED to buy. When the tube of toothpaste is depleted, I amble on down to Wal-Mart and buy a new tube. I NEED toothpaste. When my electric bill comes in each month, I pay it. I NEED electricity. Every 3,000 miles (about once annually) I pay to have the oil changed in my car. Why? Because IT needs it! We buy a lot of things because we need to. That's the principle of necessity. You already knew that, I am sure.

But, did you know that you can CREATE need in your offers. And NO, I don't mean, "You need to buy my product now! You need what I've got! Buy from me, buy from me!" That won't get ya a sale EVER.

Let's recap what we've covered so far. We make purchases in large part because of...

...7 Principles of Persuasive Selling Presentations. They are...

The Principle of Emotion

The Principle of Value

The Principle of Expectation

The Principle of Referrals

The Principle of Recognition

The Principle of Necessity

And that brings us to number seven, the Principle of Presentation.

7. Principle of Presentation

People buy because of PRESENTATION.

This is THE MOST IMPORTANT Principle of them all. Master this one and I assure you, you will make more sales than you could ever imagine. You and I buy things because of the way the offer is presented to us.

Bottom line: This is THE SINGLE MOST IMPORTANT DETERMINING FACTOR IN ALL PURCHASE DECISIONS.

Why? Because with the proper presentation of your offer, you can conquer all six other principles at the same time. You can: trigger the emotion, provide value, build expectation, use referrals, become familiar and prove there is a need for your product.

All of the other six principles rest on this seventh.

It is the umbrella that covers them all. If you learn to present your offer the RIGHT way, then selling is the easy part.

So, what is the RIGHT way? That's what we are going to do at Influence: Boot Camp 2008. I'm going to walk you through everything you need to know about PRESENTING your offer. You are going to learn how to master each of these principles (and more) in ONE presentation.

Your offer itself (whatever product or service you are selling, for the price you are selling it) must be presented in such a way that it compels people to buy. PRESENTATION is just as important as the substance of your product or service...

In fact, it's probably more important. Why? Because no one will ever see your product or service until you present an offer that they must say "yes" to. As long as they can say "no" to your offer, as long as they can reject what you are "trying to sell them," then your substance doesn't do you a bit of good.

Presentation - that is the key. You've got to make it easier for them to say "Yes" than it is for them to say "No".

The Seven Principles Of Persuasive Presentation (part 4)

2008-04-14T10:06:00.001-07:00

3. Principle of EXPECTATION

Herein lies a tremendous motivator for purchases. We buy based on what we expect to achieve from use of the purchase. In other words, we buy based on what we perceive will be the end result of that purchase. For example...

People buy exercise equipment because they EXPECT TO SEE THE RESULTS of weight loss, muscle tone and overall better health.

They buy grass seed because they EXPECT TO SEE THE RESULTS of a nicer lawn.

They buy cookbooks because they EXPECT TO SEE THE RESULTS of nice meals and desserts.

They buy movie tickets because they EXPECT TO BE entertained.

We make a great many purchases because we expect to see some kind of desirable outcome as a result of that purchase.

KEYPOINT: Don't attempt to sell the prospect your product, but rather the end result of using your product.

You aren't selling products or services, you are selling results. You are selling weight loss, not weigh loss pills. You are selling an education, not tuition. You are selling a romantic evening for two, not a candlelit dinner.

People buy because they want results. Want to sell more? Start approaching your offer from the end and not the beginning. Ask yourself a simple question... ..."What does the prospect want to achieve with my product?" Focus on the results.

4. Principle of REFERRALS

Many times we purchase based solely on a recommendation from a trusted friend, family member or associate.

Referrals are SO important in business but most people never get them.

We'll talk about this one in much more detail later and in-depth at Influence Boot Camp 2008.

(I'll even show you how to get these referrals for free!) I just want to introduce you to the idea now. People make purchases in a lot of cases simply because someone make a recommendation.

How many times have you bought something because someone suggested it?

I have bought a ton (literally) of books because one of a few trusted friends and colleagues have suggested that I do.

You've made similar purchases yourself.

Part 5 Coming Soon!

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Presentation (Part 3)

2008-04-13T18:45:00.001-07:00

2. The Principle of VALUE

Another reason why we buy things is because of value. I once heard a friend of mine tell a story about her immigrant grandmother. Her grandmother came home with two pairs of jeans that didn't fit anyone in the entire family. My friend asked her, "Grandma, why did you buy these jeans when no one can use them?"

Her response? "They were such a bargain - I saved more than $40!"

The point is this: we all love a good deal. We buy things because they are valuable to us.

Now, there are two basic ways that we judge value...

* QUANTITY

Two for the price of one.
Buy one get one free.
Free medium drink with any hamburger order.
Extra value meal.
Free installation with any satellite purchase.
Thirty days free to new members.

These are all ways of providing MORE quantity for the same price. And that, in our estimation, is a determining factor in how valuable something is.

After all - what's more valuable: A large pizza for $14.95 or a large pizza with a free 2-liter coke for $14.95?

Obviously the free 2-liter coke adds more value to the order.

That is a quantity increase.

And it prompts you and I to order, simply because there is more "bang for the buck."

In direct marketing, it was a collection of THOUSANDS of "money making reports." Online, it's a collection of dozens of "ebooks." Unfortunately, neither of these usually has a lot of useful information in them -- but there sure is a lot of them! And many people buy because of the sheer volume they represent. It just sounds like an awful lot for the price tag that is attached.

* QUALITY

The other measuring stick of value is quality. Let's stick with pizza as our illustration. I like Godfather's Pizza. Far and away my favorite. I rarely taste anything that good.

Any store could sell pizza at 1/10 of the price of Godfathers and it is not interesting because the quality of Godfather's is supreme.

I am happy to pay a premium because of quality. I would rather pay more to receive something of higher quality.

Quality sells.

We make purchases because we see some kind of value - whether quantity or quality. Give us either and you've most likely got a customer. Give us both and it's a done deal.

Part 4 coming soon!

The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling Presentations (part 2)

2008-04-12T16:08:00.000-07:00

KEYPOINT: In reality, you and I buy very few things for rational reasons. Instead, we buy things (especially those "spur of the moment" impulse items!) because of emotions...because of feelings.

Now, since people purchase a LOT of products based on emotions, what can you do to trigger those emotions?

Secrets of Tapping into Emotions
There are two secrets to touching the way we feel about things that work the majority of the time (I'll touch on both of these more later and in-depth in Las Vegas, but let me introduce them now)...

$10,000 KEY: Present problems and offer solutions. Early on in your offer or your presentation is a great place to do this. Outline a problem that your buyer or your target audience is probably facing and then point out how your product provides the solution...

Online:

One of the biggest obstacles facing most people doing business online is generating traffic to their websites.

Let me show you how to really get quality people who are interested in YOU and your WORK, product, service, experience, to YOUR website...

I like contrasting my work with others who write about, create products, and courses that are about similar topics to what I'm doing, but there is a significant difference. There's no need to replicate information. So I produce where others are deficient. but have no depth or value (or worse, it's actually destructive to their clients, customers or buyers).

That's a huge competitive advantage...USP...if you will.

Face it. Someone goes to a seminar for $5000 and gets nothing but a sales pitch or a bunch of sales pitches.

It doesn't take rocket science to know people are still angry... to know that they wanted value, and didn't get it. And that's where an opportunity is created for me to create happy and loyal lifetime relationships.

I mean think of the last time you went to a seminar that was really a sales pitch for a bunch of other stuff.

What emotions are triggered here? Anger? Absolutely! Most likely the reader is angry because she herself has been taken and disillusioned by the event, and the like.

The KEY is that there is a problem that they face, (the reason they went to the first event) there is the possibility of a solution for them to take a "chance" on Kevin Hogan.

Emotion has already been triggered and will continue to be fed throughout the remainder of our hypothetical presentation.

(I can feel the emotions of this scenario right now!)

You want to point out what happened with the other event. Let it sting.

Then let the reader/prospect/customer/future client see the existing problems that caused them to want to go to THAT event in the first place, then offer solutions where possible.

Don't exaggerate, lie or hype. Offer realistic, reachable solutions that will come to fruition in the near future.

We all have problems and we all want them eliminated. And, we don't mind paying for those solutions -- if they are real solutions.

KEYPOINT: Be the CLEAR ALTERNATIVE. If you can't be passionate about being the clear alternative....

* Present luxuries and offer opportunities. The flipside to that coin is to present something that triggers our passion and offer us a chance to obtain it. For example, here's one that would get a lot of people now...

"Wouldn't you like to improve your golf game so dramatically that you'll have your buddies scrambling to keep up with you?"

"Let me show you how to take at least 10 strokes off your total by the end of the week. You'll drive the ball farther, hit amazingly accurate chip shots and putt like a pro. Here's how..."

Aaaah. Show me where to sign up!

What emotions are triggered here? Excitement! Joy! Passion! Pride!

KEYPOINT: There is a certain "attraction" between our psyches and an opportunity to fulfill something we are passionate about.

The idea for you is to capitalize on an EXISTING emotional want.

For example, If you get targeted traffic to your website, or the right people in your store, then it is EASY present your work to your visitors because of their existing desires.

They already want something, all you have to do is be credible enough to persuade them that they can have it.

One reason we buy is because the offer or opportunity triggers some feeling inside of us that prompts us to go for it.

Your job is to let them pull the trigger.

To Be Continued!

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The Seven Principles of Persuasive Selling Presentations

2008-04-10T12:24:00.000-07:00

What's one of the most important things to know before giving a Persuasive Selling Presentation?

Understanding what motivates people to buy and then pushing all the right buttons.
Simple.

Before I launch into creating and presenting your own offer, whether in person, on the web, or in media, we need to do some research to make sure your offer is accepted.
Now, when I say "research," I'm sure visions of high school term papers come to mind - late nights in the library pouring through book after book.

Don't worry, I wouldn't put ya through that!

I've already done the research for you. All you need to do is LEARN from what I have researched and am sharing with you today.

Core Reasons People BuyI want to show you core reasons that people buy.
Are there other reasons?

A few, and they are profound and I'll talk to you about them in Las Vegas.

But for now, what if I told you that I am going to outline the things that motivate people to make purchases, and I'm going to show YOU how to have control over each of these core factors, AND I am going to give you the training you need to master these motivators to practically cause people to buy from YOU.

Interested?

Ready?

What motivates people to buy?As mentioned earlier, this isn't an all-inclusive set.

These are the major causes of why people buy.

There are seven.

1. The Principle of EMOTION

One of the reasons people make purchases is because of emotion.
Emotions like...

* FEAR:

Fear of gaining weight. Fear of missing an opportunity. Fear of unemployment. Fear of death. Fear of a future price increase.Fear of what others think about them. Fear of the unknown. Fear of growing old. Fear of being alone. Fear of being cheated.

There are hundreds of different PHOBIAS that DRIVE people to make purchases.
People buy life insurance because they fear dying prematurely and leaving their family financially strapped.

We buy exercise equipment because we fear gaining weight or getting out of shape.
We buy alarm systems because we fear we are going to be violated in some way.

KEY POINT: We make a lot of purchases because of our fears, on things that are supposed to ease our fears.

* PASSION:
Passion for food. Passion for money. Passion for our children. Passion for our partner. Passion for our career. Passion for success. Passion for fame.

You and I have those things in our lives that we are passionate about. Whether it is a relationship or a recreation, a possession or a position, we all have those things that we long for.
We all have those things that we "love." And we spend a lot of money in pursuit of those things.
I began reading voraciously as a kid. And everywhere I went, people told me more and more of the different kinds of books I could purchase. I bought thousands of books.

Why?

Because my passion for reading triggered an emotional response... I wanted to KNOW as much as a human could...and I was as good as sold long before walking into Barnes and Noble.

(To this day I have and have read everything possible about Biblical Archaeology, Religious Literature, The Historic Jesus, Decision Making, Illusion of Consciousness, Consumer Behavior, Evolutionary Psychology, Strategic and Critical Thinking, Motivation, Rejection, Relationship Research, well...and a few other ...dozen areas of interest....)

You and I make a lot of purchases based upon passion or love.

Things that make us happy, that bring us joy...that increase our pleasure. People buy food in many cases not because they are hungry, but because they love eating.

People buy self-help books not because we need to improve our reading skills, but because we long to improve our lives. People buy roses because they love their spouses.

Passion - it fuels a LOT of buying decisions.

I touched on fear and passion because those are the two biggest emotional buttons that cause people to make purchases.

There are plenty of others:

Sorrow, reverence, hate, sadness, surprise, anger, joy, excitement.

We make purchases for all of these reasons.

How To Be A Professional Public Speaker (Part 8)

2008-04-09T16:18:00.000-07:00

NEVER B.S. ANYONE.

And if YOU BELIEVE you can cure cancer and solve all the world's ills, don't get on a platform anywhere.

Instead of doing this, what you must do is focus your speech on the topics that are the most important for your group. Develop your niche, your target area of focus that all other materials you have will point to.

One of the most common and best examples is that of helping people to be leaders. If leadership is your niche, then you can talk to all types of people with the same topic.

Does that mean you can't talk about those other topics? Of course, not! But it means that you are developing a specific field that your speeches will revolve around.

Why does it matter so much if you have a select area in which you will be talking about in all of your speeches? It helps to define you as an expert in the field. People enjoy talking with experts and they are much more likely to believe you if you say that that is what you are.

If you know "everything" people see you as knowing "nothing."

When you have selected your niche, you will develop your speeches and all of your talks about that one topic. The topic is up to you, and it should be something you are passionate about and something that comes directly from your personal experiences.

Choosing a niche is the best way for you to concentrate your efforts and become a known leader in that field. If you are an expert at team building, an expert at sales building or even an expert at being positive, that is the field that people will come to you seeking help from.

Consider the fact. If you were to spend your company's money to bring someone in to talk, do you want an expert in the field to be the one to talk? What is the process you should follow?

The process is fairly straightforward:
Determine what in your past can be used to be your material in your speech. What do you have to offer to those that come to listen?

Determine what you can offer from that material in terms of giving to your listeners? How will you improve their lives with your own experiences?

What niche will it be that you take on to help demonstrate your experiences? What topic will you focus your energies to in order to become an expert in and become known for?

Once you have accomplished these goals, you should have a fairly clear idea of where your speeches are going to be located in terms of content. You will know what you want to say and how you will communicate it based on your experiences. Take the time to work through this process to develop speech content that is wanted and desired by those that will listen to you speak!

Looking For More Articles? Click Here

How To Be A Professioanl Public Speaker (Part 7)

2008-04-08T12:51:00.000-07:00

Developing Your Niche

For those that know anything about Internet marketing, the key to being successful is finding your niche, or that place where you will share what information and resources you can with those around you.

Success in that field requires that you specialize your marketing so that you are putting as much effort (and money) towards that one goal as possible, thus giving you more resources behind one goal instead of many resources behind many goals spreading it too thin for success.

In the world of public speaking, you too must develop a niche from which you will work with. This is up to you to determine in terms what it is based on your experiences that we have talked about.

THINK ABOUT THIS:

Realize that most people that walk in to the building, sit down and wait to hear you speak are more skeptical of you than you are of them. In that comes the fact that they will want to prove you wrong before believing that you are right.

One of the biggest ways to turn someone off from you is to promise them that what you are about to tell them is going to solve all of the problems that they experience in their life. The larger and more all encompassing your promise is, the more unlikely you are to be believed.

For example, let's say that you want to talk to a group of people through a local organization. But, you just want to have an overall motivational speech without a direct topic to speak about. So, you walk in and you see all types of people in your audience.

When your speech begins, you begin to play to all of their needs. "What I have to say will help you to lose weight, cure cancer, live a longer life and to solve all of your financial problems."

This is not believable and from that moment on, they are untrusting (and SHOULD BE) of what you have to say.

What should you NEVER do?... (Coming up in tomorrow's article).

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How To Be A Professional Speaker (Part 6)

2008-04-07T08:13:00.000-07:00

What Can Your Presentations Do?

The bottom line is this. Your speeches must do something for the listener. This could be as simple as motivating them or it could be teaching them a lesson. The goal is that you must first connect with the audience then deliver a message to them.

Developing that message is very important, but often times difficult to do. The first step is to analyze your own information in terms of what it has done for you and others you've shared it with.

Here's an example of what you can do. Let's say that your family did get into a tight financial situation as you were aging. At that time in your life, it was up to you, the oldest male, to get out and find a job even though you were only 13 to help support your family. (EH HM....)

This was difficult and trying for you but you were able to be successful and founded your first business by the time that you were just 14.

What did that experience teach you about life? What characteristics did you have to have to excel in that tough time? All of those situations are what define the message that you can provide to those around you listening to your speech.

Many speeches will have one of several goals:

They will help to solve the problems of the listener.
They will help to listener to set and achieve goals that they set.
They will help the listen to improve their lives in some way.
They will help to motivate.
They will help to teach a lesson.

Sometimes, it will become necessary for you to actually take your speech and morph it into one or more of these above goals. For example, at one organization you may be working with goal-setting where as with another it may be talking about leadership. It is up to you to determine how to make such a change and why to make that the case. This can be challenging to some people that have not taken the time to really define their abilities.

That is something that you can do. You must define what your past experiences have taught you that you can convey to others that will in some way improve their lives on a big or small scale.

Developing your niche...

How to Be A Professional Speaker (Part 5)

2008-04-06T17:45:00.000-07:00

Why Does It Matter?

How can ordinary, boring life events help you to become a public speaker? It may seem like a stretch but the fact is that people love to hear about other people's successes and failures....and as long as the story ultimately ends in success....they love the failure part!!

They use this information to help define their own abilities both positively and negatively.

They need to know that an average person just like them can ultimately accomplish great things.

For example, perhaps tragedy struck your family when your father lost his job. Your family did not have the funds for anything. The way that this situation is handled by you defines who you are and that's what you want to get at later in your speeches.

You could approach the subject about how this taught you humility and defined the person that you are today, for example. Perhaps it helped you to be so frugal in your business that you managed to be more successful than the next guy because of it.

Simply define for yourself what it was like to overcome life and it's most difficult of situations. Things like the loss of a loved one, dealing with fear, dealing with financial ruin and even dealing with rejection are all basic levels of emotions that many people go through in their lifetime.

Not only does this give you a tool by which to work from, but it helps you to gain the necessary resources to truly inspire others with through a connection. If you struggled with fear, they can bond with you on that level because they have done so at some time. This can ultimately be one of the best ways to communicate with those that you are speaking with.

When you are looking back into your past, ask yourself what it means to be a motivational or other type of public speaker. You need to have material that will help you to get your message out there. Some public speakers gather facts and figures from the world to use.

YOU ARE NOT DOING THERAPY WITH YOURSELF ON STAGE.

You are ever present with your audience, looking into their hearts, their minds, their pain, their love.

That might sound ...different, but it is what you are there to do.

If you don't get carried away, you can use SNIPPETS from your life to fuel your speeches. They do this because it is one of the most powerful ways to communicate with those you are speaking to. It allows you to show that you have the same experiences as they have had. Now, you can show them the right way to deal with those experiences.

REALLY IMPORTANT: What Can You Offer To The Masses?

Now that you have taken some time to really define who you are, you need to find a way to provide others with something useful from those experiences.

One thing to remember here is this. No matter how successful you think you are, chances are that no one is going to pay you to talk about your past life experiences.

Sure, this can be part of your material to use, but some underlying benefit must come through. It is up to you to determine what that ultimately should be, though.

How can you take your life experiences and make them into something that is wanted and needed by your audience members?

I mentioned the processes of working with connections where you are able to use your own personal experiences to draw a connection to the other person listening to you speak. This is important because you want them to know that you do have some experience and know what you are talking about.

But, moving to the next step is more challenging. Now, you must take your experiences and convey your personal feelings with them.

Remember, although there are many professionals out there looking forward to a career in public speaking, it is also important to note that no one wants to sit and hear your story without some meaning.

How many people have you had to sit through listening to them talk to you about their life? Most people will do this without costing the listener a penny!

Part 6: "What can your presentations do?"

For More Information About Kevin Hogan. Click Here!

How to Be A Professional Speaker (Part 4)

2008-04-04T08:06:00.000-07:00

What Could You Possibly Have That They Could Want?

The public speaker that is most successful is one that conveys his message from experience. Passion can truly be found in these personal experiences. But, what do you have to offer?

To gauge just what it is that you can present to those looking, start by looking closely at your life. Take stock, if you will, of where you are and where you came from. This will give you the best opportunity to find that perfect niche that you will be able to communicate.

Look Into Your Past

Start by looking into your past. Most people do not have a very simple, non emotional or non tragic past in that they can not find something to share about it. You too may have something there to use.

Here are some ideas to consider in terms of what you may have accomplished or areas of experience that you may have but do not realize that you have them. Take stock of your own experiences using this reference.

What goals have you set for yourself in the past? Have you achieved them and if not, why not? Why did you set those goals? What helped you to honor them? What did having those goals do for you in the long run?

Both failures and successes might make great stories (or they might bore the audience, you'll have to figure that out!)

What have you achieved? Did you graduate from college? Perhaps you have honors from military experience. What was it like to get that first job that was successful? Perhaps your achievements lie in the family unit such as getting married and having children. Perhaps you made your first million before the age of 30. What aspects of your life do you consider achievements?

What are you passionate about in your past? For example, perhaps you were passionate about your child's education and it paid off. Perhaps your religion is the founding principles you have used in your business. Perhaps your business itself has been your passion for years and taught you something. Looking back over the last ten years, what aspects of your life were you passionate about? Why?

What did you learn from your past experiences? For example, what did you learn about raising your children? What did you learn when you failed miserably at your first business plan? What did you learn about yourself over the years? Most often, people do not realize just how powerful their past was in shaping the future. Has this happened for you? How so?

What failures did you have? Sometimes the most prominent memories are of those negative aspects in our past. Yet, they are also the most likely to shape your future. What negative or failure type situations were you in? How did that change you? Why did it happen and would you even avoid it if you could today? Where are you today beyond this point?

Perhaps the very best experiences are those that come from the big things. For example, if you started your first company at the age of 20 and made a million by 25, you definitely did something big and that should be taken stock of. If you do have something big like this in your past, draw from it as this often helps push the success even farther.

Yet, you do not have to have something amazing behind you in your past or present that is big and glorious. The fact is that even average experiences in your lifetime can give you enough material, information and experience to provide for your speeches. It is not necessarily the actual experience but the way that you perceive it; deal with it as well as overcome it that matters.

Why does it matter? Part 5 Coming Tomorrow!

Looking To Read More Articles By Kevin Hogan? Click here!

How to Be A Professional Speaker (Part 3)

2008-04-03T14:18:00.000-07:00

What fee do you charge and what does it include?

The meeting planner goes to my main web site www.KevinHogan.com or my speaking web site at www.KevinHogan.net, and then they determine whether I am right for their company.

If they like me and think that I can help their company or at least be entertaining, they send an email and invariably, one question is asked in the mail followed by one other.

What is your fee?
Are you available July 18?

That's it.

Fee and availability.

You'll need to determine yours.

The bottom line for most professionals in public speaking is that they need to sell themselves to make a living. But, organizations hiring you to do so will question if the value of what you are providing is worth the cost that you are charging. A big, well-known name brings in more money, but so does a creative approach.

Also, most organizations want to be sure that you are providing them with all that you can; which means appearances before and after the event to talk to guests and dignitaries, as well as an overall willingness to go above and beyond.

I try and avail myself the night before for meeting with group leaders. This can be a double-edged sword. After travel, sometimes you are wiped out and need a bed when 10 people want your wit and charm.

What happens?

You guessed it....

You go and pump out all the energy!

Organizations demand quality products and services. They want to be provided with the best of the best. If you can meet this need, the demand for your services is going to be high.

What could you possibly have that they could want?

Part 4 Coming Soon!

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How to Be A Professional Speaker (Part 2)

2008-04-02T12:56:00.001-07:00

There Really A Market For Your Knowledge?

Public speaking has increased in demand all around the world. You do not have to be famous in terms of what your name is, but you have to have something unique or useful to offer. When this is seen by a company, organization or other group as being something worth listening to, the demand for you....rises.

One of the first keys to remember about being successful in the field of public speaking is to know what the buyer of your service is looking for.

And Just What Is The Buyer Looking For?

If you were to be hired to provide a product to a client, you would need to understand what needs that client has so that you can tailor your product to meet those needs and to therefore fulfill the buyer's demand.

In public speaking, you need to understand what the audience is looking for when giving a speech. Before you can do that, you must understand what the person or group that will hire you is looking for. Since they hire you, you have to be able to meet their goals.

In order to do this, you consider what the organization hiring you is looking for. In an interview with the organization, they are likely to want to gather facts about you.

Some of those facts include these qualifications.

Do you have a topic that is right for their audience?

The company hiring you is looking for you to accomplish some goal. This could be motivating their employees or it could be an educational goal. Regardless, do you meet that goal for them?

Do you have references to back you up?

The company wants to be sure that you have references, some type of qualification to be there doing what you are doing. You may be wondering where this is going to come from. It will be something addressed later in the series. For now, realize that you have to be a proven success to the company hiring you.

Not many meeting planners will put their reputation or job on the line by spending a fortune hiring a screw up.

Do you have an effective way to communicate your message?

Here, they want to be sure that you can drive home a winning presentation. Most want to have public speakers that are able to provide audio and visual demonstrations and materials to really bring out their point.

Do you offer the ability to customize your message?

If you are speaking to a group of employees, will you be able to customize your message to that company? Doing so can really be an effective way to bring in the information that the company is looking for. Many companies today are hiring professionals to do just that.

In most interviews, I confess I do all the asking. I want to make sure I deliver precisely what the meeting planner, the VP or the sales manager is going to want and need.

I can usually get through my questions in 45 minutes, and I take incredible notes.

Those notes get collated with other research I do about a company. And I rarely mention that I've researched a company. I'll tell you why next week!

Are you able to hold the attention of the audience?

In short, you do have to be somewhat of an entertainer in order to be successful. Organizations are looking for people that will stimulate thoughts and goals, but that will do it in a way that is enjoyable.

Few companies are cruel enough to hire you to bore their audience.

I've always enjoyed throwing very disarming or deadpan humor in my presentations. And that humor seems to work just as well if not better in Europe than the U.S.

Two years ago I got hired by an incredible "club" of multimillionaires and BILLIONAIRES to entertain them for 90 minutes. They didn't need education or a lesson in leadership. These were the masters of the world. They wanted me to make them LAUGH.

So I put together a presentation that was incredibly aggressive, as politically incorrect as I could humanly make it and I had about 2/3 of the audience laughing in minutes. Interesting: English was NOT a first language to anyone.

I had not been so nervous and frankly intimidated (yes it happens to me too!) in a decade...

What fee should you charge and what does it include?

Part 3! Coming Soon!

Looking To Read More About Public Speaking? Click Here!

How to Be A Professional Speaker (Part 1)

2008-03-31T09:00:00.000-07:00

Being a public speaker is about as good as it gets as a career.

You can get paid more money to do different kinds of things in life but, for my time, this is truly a superb lifestyle.

You work hard.

You're an entertainer.

You're a deliverer of unique information.

You are remembered.

And you make a BIG difference in people's lives.
A Career in Public Speaking Takes Commitment
The market for this business is growing quickly as more and more businesses seek professionals to help motivate and inspire employees. And as the economy goes down, trainers and presenters of quality information have more opportunities.

Those that have something to offer can use that wisdom to empower others. Those that don't or those that choose not to develop expertise in a niche or field, will not find anyone interested in their services.

If you wanted to start a public speaking career, you would ultimately need to know what you have to offer and to market your skills accordingly.

Enter: careful planning and commitment. Through the resources that you find here in this series of articles, you can begin to structure your own speaking business that will far outweigh your expectations.

Learn to Sell Yourself
Your first "goal" is to be able to sell yourself. You are developing a business and the product you are selling is ...you...the expression of your experience, your ability to motivate.

It's not an easy thing to sell yourself.

It has to be done elegantly and gracefully, along with flair!

I think when I look at what people remember me for, it becomes clear that people connect with you through your stories. And nothing is more intimate than the brief, well-constructed snippets from the video of your life.

When you can take advantage of everything life has thrown your way, and educate others on those experiences as far as cutting learning curve or making it through difficulties, you can become an effective public speaker make a heck of a lot of money in the process.

Key Point:The key is to understand exactly what you have to offer that THEY NEED and then to market yourself effectively TO THE RIGHT PEOPLE.

Developing this type of skill means examining yourself and your past. It means developing the experience of your past and your current knowledge to offer to others.

Question: What have you done or experienced that can help you to inform, educate or motivate others? What do you know that other people want to know? Or, what are you willing to be amazing at that others would like to learn from you?

You do not have to be rich and famous, though you may end up being just that after you have begun seeing growth in your business. You do not have to currently have many skills; the wonderful thing about this field is that you can learn everything you need, no matter who you are.

The only handicap that stops people is the inability to speak effectively...and I've even seen a few speakers overcome THAT one.

This series of articles will show you how to accomplish what might be one of your dreams. Apply what you learn here to real life and within a matter of months, literally, you will have begun to forge a way into a successful and incredibly rewarding business.

By the way, there are plenty of people who don't want to speak as a keynote speaker; but instead they want to speak as a way to generate business for their insurance, real estate, law and medical practices... among others.

Is there really a market for your knowledge?

Part 2 of this article coming soon!

Want to learn how to become a better public speaker? Click here!

Hiring the "Right" Speaker

2006-09-07T11:18:00.000-07:00

Q. I've been planning meetings for almost 9 years. All of you professional speakers have the same line. "They are OK, but...I." You too?

A. I don't know. Fact is all speakers are different from each other.

You are faced with the almost impossible task of bringing in someone who will entertain, provide good content, inspire to action AND be safe. You are constantly on the line.

Those are the four criteria I take into account before coming to your group, convention, meeting, etc.

I imagine there are a lot of speakers that fulfill that. I've seen a lot of speakers I like. Gitomer, Tracy, Ziglar, Rohn. They all have their styles. All are pro's. All deliver.

I like to think I'm in that group.

I often wonder if any other speaker has been invited to the Million Dollar Round Table two years in a row. I'm told it has never happened. If that's true, then I let that speak for itself.

You don't get hired back to the most prestigious event on the planet without doing something right.

Checking out http://www.kevinhogan.com/ which is my personal home page and http://www.kevinhogan.net/ which is my "professional speaker" page, provides you with a look at a real person just like you, who busts his back side to overdeliver and make you look not just good, but like a genius.

Kevin Hogan
http://www.kevinhogan.com/biography.htm

Motivational Speaker: Kevin Hogan

2006-09-03T23:35:00.000-07:00

Q. Why should I hire you instead of all the rest out there at half of what you charge? A. The answer is in your question. If you sold your products at half the price you get for it now, how long would it take for you to be out of business and broke? Exactly. You get what you pay for. Do you really want to beat down price with your surgeon? Your car mechanic? Anyone you do business with? Obviously not. You want the best and the best allows you to rest and know that all will be well. One final thought. You decide not to pay me $15,000. That's fine. Now, let's say you go hire Jane or John Doe at $7,000 because you think you're getting off cheap.... Fast forward to your event date. You have a huge audience and you are responsible for how the event goes. How much regret do you feel? Don't worry everyone does. That's why you read this first.

Your People, New Information, Sell More NOW

2005-12-21T13:45:00.000-08:00

A Motivational Speaker is often thought of as "someone who pumps up an audience. "

That's square one.

Square two is that the speaker actually leaves the group with easy to apply NOW strategies. Stuff that works, NOW. Here's why a lot of people consider Kevin Hogan, America's number one motivational speaker.

Imagine at your next meeting that everyone walked away with stuff like this....what would sales look like then?!?!

How to Influence People...It's Not How You Ask, But WHEN!

Imagine: A July 2006 meeting for 2007 benefits plan....

"OK everyone, a show of hands...how many of you are going to want to be part of our new benefits program? Corporate is matching up to 50% of your contributions to your 401K. That means if you put $15,000 in your 401K, the company will put in $7,500."

"Sure thing, I'll make a contribution to my 401K plan!"

From a simply rational perspective, this is a no-brainer. Every person should say "yes," contribute the maximum that the company allows and chalk up a tidy 50% return on investment. (Read that as "I'm smart enough to take all the free money I can get.")
Of course they will!

Now...move to six months in the future. In fact, research shows that when you ask people if they intend to do just about anything *next year*, they will affirm that they are going to participate...and then...

...they don't.

They get to December when it's time to fill out the paper work which amounts to a signature that affirms that the employee wants FREE MONEY and........they just can't pull the trigger and watch all that money "taken" from their pay check. They opt out...or only ask for a little free money from their company.

But remember, people don't think rationally. They will refuse to take FREE MONEY which is why they are working in the first place!!! Or worse, they realize the value of getting FREE MONEY and refuse to take all of it! Why? What is wrong with this picture?
Let's look at another example of how the mind works as far as time in concerned.

A friend asks you to do something next week that you only marginally want to do. It would be OK but it would be just as OK not to do it. You say "Yes."

As the time approaches you feel more and more like you would rather get something done around the house or go shopping. It now seems like work to do what you previously said "yes" to.

"My kids are sick and I've got to stay home and take care of them."

And you stay home or go shopping.

Or your wife has this experience:

She's at a Tupperware party and she knows the moment is coming...

"Now, if you want to receive a bunch of free gifts like this container that an elephant can stand on and still not break. (She demonstrates.)...you can host a party at your house...but I'm really booked for the next 60 days so it would have to be in March. Jane, do you want to do one?"

"Sure."

"March 7?"

"Sure, that's fine."

"Great Honey. How about you Jessica? I can do one on the 4th of April."

"Sure, I'll do that."

And so on and so forth.

Now, having a Tupperware Party isn't a bad thing. It's a very good thing. With a good hostess, the women will have fun and everyone will spend a little money. But you do sometimes have to obligate your friends and family to come, which is a bit uncomfortable for just about anyone. But hey, it's three months out.

As the party approaches she feels torn as she prepare to send out the invitations. She wonders why she said "yes," in the first place. She still hasn't SENT the invitations. It's probably going to be fine but part of her doesn't want to do the party. Life is busy and this really wasn't necessary. But she said she'd do it...in front of a lot of her friends...and she's going to have a Tupperware Party.

When Jane was asked it didn't seem like that big of a deal, certainly not an obligation that entails a bit of work. As she approaches the date, though, it does seem as though this is an all day project....

I was watching TV the other night and an annoying commercial came on for Wickes Furniture.

"2007," the young suburban housewife says as she sits in her new couch.

"This week only you have no payments til 2007," the young husband parrots.

"Wickes has no payments and no INTEREST til 2007!"

"Wow, no interest?!" the husband feeds the line back and so the commercial goes.

Is the commercial effective?

You bet.

The furniture store isn't selling a recliner or sofa, they are selling free furniture...for 2005 at least. 2007 is 13 months away and that means that you can have new furniture for free! You look around your house and you think, "you know we DO need new furniture."

And you probably do. This is not only an effective promotion, it's also ethical.

When an event is a long way off it's easy to say yes.

In fact, the further an event is in the future, the easier it is to say, "yes."

In each of the above examples you discover how easy it is to say, "yes" today.

In the case of the retirement account, the funny thing is that people consistently have regret as they approach the new year that they have agreed to participate in something that is completely in their best interest without exception. Unfortunately, people perceive the 401K as an expense(!), when of course, it is a crucial asset. But it does represent money that the person doesn't get to use today. And that "feeling" of loss of freedom plays a role in the person's "feeling" that they now don't feel as certain about the program. (Remember when feelings come into play, rational thinking often departs.)

In the case of the Tupperware Party, the person says yes today, partially because they feel obligated to do so because they are asked in front of a group. It's not unethical, but there is a "feeling" of pressure involved. Who wants to look bad in front of the group? In this real-life scenario a person's future isn't on the line. It's a Tupperware Party and it is helping this woman earn a living. It's a good thing to do. Nevertheless, as the day approaches, the desire to participate dramatically reduces because it takes away the freedom of choice for the party day.

In part, because you are obligating your friends and family to do something that will be fun but uncomfortable for some.

The furniture store is the easiest to say "yes" to today because getting new furniture and spending no money (for at least one year) is more than tempting, it's downright delicious. You MUST do this. The company puts off the payment so far into the future that most people can't even get "there" in their mind.

Now, you think this is pretty amazing stuff? Obviously it's easy to get people to say "yes" to something that is going to happen far in the future. Now...Just wait til you learn how to utilize this powerful information in your business and your practice and your life.

And speaking of time...what happens when you ask for an answer at different points in a conversation (early on, in the middle, at the end)? Does it matter when you ask for agreement?

Does it matter when you ask for the date?

And when you do ask for something, should the event happen quickly (do you take her out tomorrow night or in two weeks?) or do you put it off?

It all makes a BIG difference and I'll be showing you in person just how big of a difference...and specifically how to handle all the variables.

Motivational Speaker Kevin Hogan

2005-12-17T11:30:00.000-08:00

A motivational speaker for your event must be able to captivate and audience and prepare them not only for the day's events but for the purpose behind the event.

For years I've been doing this for the best and biggest companies and conventions around the world.

Most groups hire me because of my status as "the body language expert." Others hire me because I wrote the all time second best selling book about persuasion and influence. These presentations often show people how to dramatically increase their sales, improve marketing or simply communicate far more effectively.

http://www.kevinhogan.net/ is the place to visit if you want more information, and for this blog, I'm going to post a number of samples of just what will drive your group to excellence!

Kevin Hogan
Author of The Psychology of Persuasion